[Tegridy Farms; Shelley, Stan, and Randy are all in the living room as Shelley is on her phone while Stan watches Randy play Hogwarts Legacy]
See, Stan? You gotta choose if wanna be in Gryffindor or Slytherin.
Yeah, see, you gotta fight these fairy guys.
[entering] Randy? Randy! The powder room toilet is broken…again!
Did you jiggle the handle?
Yes, I jiggled the handle! Will you come fix this, please?!
Okay, okay. [gets up from the sofa and enters the powder room to try and fix the toilet] Huh, well, let's see. It's gotta be the little black floaty thingy. [to Sharon] What'd you do to it?
Let me see if there's water in the bowl… [starts to open the lid]
[quickly closes it] No! Don't lift the lid!
[smirking] Why can't I lift the lid?
Uh-huh. [peeks out the door; to his kids] Hey, guys! Your mom took a shit and doesn't want me to see it!
Randy, we need to get a new toilet.
We can't just get rid of Ol' Blue, Sharon.
This is embarrassing. It's the powder room toilet, the one guests use! You get a new toilet, Randy, or I'm not helping you sell weed anymore! [walks out]
Alright, alright, Sharon, you win. As usual.
[The adults are having brunch with Randy at the table while Stephen tries out the new Japanese toilet in the powder room]
If you think about it, a dry piece of toilet paper can't clean your half as well as pressurized water. I feel that most people have to walk around with fecal matter on their anus, but I'm just lucky I've sold enough weed to be able not to. But was it really luck? Or was it hard work? Heck, I don't know, but you know--
[barging into the kitchen] Dad, can I talk to you?!
Stan? You're back from school already?
I need to talk to you right now! [they enter Randy's office; closes the door] The fuck are you doing?!
You need to stop gloating to everybody!
Yes, you are, and now kids at school are calling me Richie Rich!
Nobody cares about your stupid toilet and you're acting like a jerk!
You're stupid. I'm acting like a jerk because I'm trying to help people?!
How are you trying to help people, Dad?
Because the people don't know that these toilets are awesome, and I'm just, like, the well-respected guy who's trying to open people's eyes like JFK.
You are not like JFK! You're just showing off!
Nuh-uh, I'm like JFK 'cause I am trying to change things! You're part of a very respected family, Stan. You should start acting like it.
[Hell's Pass Hospital; The Marshes are sitting in the Waiting Room as the doctor comes to see them for on an update on Randy after he was shot by an unknown assailant]
DDoctor
I'm sorry, but he's in critical condition.
DDoctor
He's in a coma. He's unconscious and just blabbering nonsense.
[lying down in a hospital bed; blabbering weakly] Bikkuri… Bikkurishita... Taihen deshou...
