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S4 E16

South Park · Season 4, Episode 16

“The Wacky Molestation Adventure” quotes from South Park

6 quotes

“The Wacky Molestation Adventure” · Season 4, Episode 16

In this episode: Kyle Broflovski (3), Eric Cartman (2), Stan Marsh (1), Butters Stotch (1), Kenny McCormick (1), Linda Stotch (1)

It's so unfair! How can my parents do that to me?!

Parents can be pretty cruel sometimes, dude. They get off on it.

They're evil! I wish I didn't have any parents!!

Well, you could make them go away for a while.

How?!

Well, I mean, you could call the police and have them take your parents away.

The police?

Yeah, I saw it on TV. All you got to do is call the police and say that your parents both molestered you.

What's that?

I don't know, but it works. When I wanted to get rid of my mom's last boyfriend, I just called the police, and said he was molestering me, and I haven't seen him for three months.

[awed] Wow! Three months without parents!

(Wow, that is awesome!)

But what do the police do to them?

Who cares? My parents deserve whatever they get. They're liars and cheats.

What's "bad touch"?

Something 'bout a swimsuit, I don't remember, but you definitely answer "bad touch".

Okay, molestered, bad touch.

Yeah, And cry. [Kyle lets out a soft cry] Oh, he's ready.

[Song that convinces Castro to convert to democracy]

If I could have one wish, just one wish in the whole world

If I could have one wish, it would be for Cuba to change

'Cause I think all of the Cubans are in pain

All the joy in the world, from sea to shining sea

Doesn't mean a thing, if Cubans aren't free

I just can't be very happy, I'm certain

Not as long as your Cubans are hurting

Oh, won't you search your soul, and find a way to change your mind?

That is my one and only wish

Castro is visibly moved to tears by Kyle's song, and decides to take his advice.

FCFidel Castro

¡¡Llamen a todos junto!! ("Call everyone together!!")

Hello, what's your name... What-what do you want?

LGLittle Girl

We wanna play...

Mark, I'm scared.

MMark

Don't be scared, they're just kids. Where are your parents?

LBLittle Boy

We already played with our parents.

LGLittle Girl

Now we want to play with you!

MMark

Okay, I'm scared now, too. That freaked me out.

LKLittle Kids

We wanna play with you!

These quotes come from Wikiquote's South Park pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.