Okay, we have to do this stupid report, so...
Tweek [anxiously twitching]: Uuuunnnnhh! Unh, unh, unh, ur-hmm! Urr-hmm-hmm!
“Gnomes” · Season 2, Episode 17
In this episode: Stan Marsh (5), Underpants Gnome (4), Eric Cartman (3), Kyle Broflovski (2), Kenny McCormick (1), Tweek (1), Mr. Tweek (1)
Aah!! Too much pressure!!
Great. Lotta help you are, kid.
The Gnomes!
What?
We can do our report on the Gnomes.
Phase one: collect underpants. Phase two: [silence] Phase three: profit!
Mr. Postum, you have a lot to learn about making coffee.
PMr. Postum
And you don't? Your coffee tastes like 3 day-old moldy diarrhea!
[Tweek is worried about his family becoming poor]
You can always go on welfare. Just look at Kenny's family, they're perfectly happy being poor and they're on welfare. Right, Kenny?
Fuck you!
Heh-heh, you suck, Kenny.
[An Underpants Gnomes's cart has just flattened Kenny]
[rushed and monotone] Oh my God, they killed Kenny.
[same tone] You bastards. [to the Underpants Gnome] Listen, we have to give a huge speech tomorrow about corporate takeovers!
Holy shit, we killed your friend!
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look, we got to know about corporate takeovers tomorrow or we're screwed!
Christ, we squished him like a bug!
Shh. Don't scare him.
Hey, there, little guy.
BAD. [hits the Underpants Gnome with a stick]
Cartman!
What?!
Why do you always have to hit stuff with a stick?
Well look at him. He's all... look at him. [hits the Gnome with the stick again]
Is that all you got, pussy?
What?!
Hey, he talked!
Not much longer now....
Oh, you're taking us to your little pussy house?
No, pussy, I'm taking you to my village!
Oh, your pussy village?
Cartman, will you just shut up and let him show us?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's South Park pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.