Wait, what? What am-- Dude, what am I looking at? What is that?
PimCharlie, that-- that's not Earth, right?
[Reveal: The Flat Earth.]
Pim, that's completely flat, that a hun-- that's a hundred percent flat, dude!
Pim
I know, that's what I mean, that-- I'm-- that's what I'm saying, that-- That can't be real, right? That's not, like--
I-- It-- We're looking at it, dude! That-- The-- The Earth is, uh-- the Earth is flat! The Earth-- I just-- look at-- I dunno, the Earth is flat!
Pim
Charlie, the Earth can't actually be flat, right?
There's the glass dome! Dude, dude, oh my God, dude, oh my--
Pim
This is-- This can't be real.
Pim
This can't--
Pim, we-- we need to take this to the grave, we cannot tell anybody. This changes literally every-- This changes everything.
Pim
No, I-- I know. I c-- We can't-- We can never tell-- We can never tell anyone.
I might actually puke, get back a little. I might puke. Stand back. I'm gonna throw up.
Pim
Oh my-- Okay.
Pim
The Earth is flat, Charlie.
I learned today that all cultures are equal and there’s no such thing as a bad culture.
[Mr. Boss and Oscar kiss.]
OOscar
Thank you for showing me the silliness of my ways, Pim. I formally declare an end to the eye rule, AND ALL RULES FOR THAT MATTER! NO MORE RULES!!!
[The Spamtopians start cheering as the entire country descends into anarchy and chants "No more rules", a frantic montage showing them murdering each other, committing arson, robbing banks and detonating bombs, taking the "no rules" rule so literally that the laws of physics seem to stop working and Spamtopia implodes in on itself in a massive pile of debauchery as Pim and Mr. Boss watch on. They duck away from an explosion, so violent it literally blows on-screen subtitles saying "no more rules" clean off-screen.]
Pim
...we should probably go, Mr. Boss.
Yeah, okay, no, let's-let's get out of here.
[Opening the back door of the building.] What’s all the commotion out here, boys?
Pim
The snowman came to life. There must have been some magic in that old daffodil I found.
You mean the daffodils that grow out of my nuclear waste?
[Cut to spilled nuclear waste, where the daffodils are grown into them.]
Pim
Oh I must’ve missed that.
Pim
What do we do now?
I don’t know man, I don’t know, I’m still processing the fact that Bill Nye, the freakin’ science guy, just passed on, and we saw it. I wa- I was like the biggest fan of his show, I knew the theme song, ♪Bill Nye the-♪ I-I can’t d- I’m not gonna do it but yeah I’m… I’m like a mega fan so that was hard to watch.
Mr. Boss, you’re having the time of your life back there.
[chuckling] I don’t know, I love my boys!
Pim
I love- I love all of you too. This is great.
This is a great day to be a Smiling Friend.
[Mr. Boss chuckles some more.]
I love being here, this is a fun energy, I like this place.
Pim
Oh hi Rotten, I’m just grabbing some ice. How’s living forever going?
RRotten
Well, I’m not dead, but… I’m not really living either. I mean… Pim, how do you do it?
Pim
Well… I don’t know, sometimes life can be scary, but that’s also what makes it exciting.
Yo, dude? Uh, I really hate to ask this, I seriously do, uh, but, I'm— I'm starting to crash kinda hard right now just 'cause we've been walking around and I haven't gotten food all day. If, if with full due respect to you, uh sir, if you could just make me literally one more silly sausage I'd be so, I'd be— that'd be enough to get me until dinner.
SSSilly Samuel
WHAT?! What the FUCK is wrong with you two?!
Woah hey, calm down dude.
Pim
Yeah, we're just trying to help.
SSSilly Samuel
[completely losing his mind] HELP?! I called you to make me smile, and I've never felt worse in my entire fucking life! You both fucking suck at your job! Asking me about silly sausages after you failed me-- Dude, what the fuck is wrong with you?! You guys are just like everybody else, you don't take me fucking seriously!
CCivilian
What the hell? This guy is freaking out!
[A small crowd gathers around him. They begin laughing.]
SSSilly Samuel
[completely lost in his insanity] Fuck you! Fuck you all! I don't care if you people don't like me! I don't care-- I don't--you people have broken me! I don't care if you LAUGH at me! I'm gonna speak my mind! This country! Is! FAILING!!!!!
Pim
If you're feeling down, maybe you need / To check and see if you got all you need / How about friends? You've got me and Charlie! / And we'll be nice friends to you / What about love? Another thing that's good / Love makes the world feel yummy and good / And what about family? Family is key! / Look at this little family of bees! / There are so many--!
[Mr. Frog, without warning, kicks Pim in the face hard enough to knock him unconscious]
Explain to me -- how did the Magic Bullet go through President Shrimp's head, into the governor in front of him, then into the driver to the left of him, then behind him into his wife, and then back into President Shrimp's head? Explain that to me, man.
Pim
I don't-- I don't know. I don't like to think about that stuff, Charlie, to be honest.
You know I just gotta say, uh, we avoided seeing it the whole time, Pim. And I saw it right there and it was not as bad as I thought, it looked pretty good.
Pim
The penis? Yeah,I saw too. Yeah, it looked good. looked like a good penis. Yeah.
'Cause he hyped it up and said it would be horrible, and said it'd be ugly.
I thought it looked delicious.
(Charlie, Pim, and Glep turn their heads to him)
I thought the penis looked delicious.
Hm,that's weird. I guess I'm not the only one that's not cursed.
(Pim tilts his flashlight down, revealing that the lower half of Allan has somehow become a spider.)
Pim
Allan, you're a spider!
No, I was always like this. Me was born this way.
[Mr. Boss and Smiling Friends arrive at the vacation cabin]
All right, make yourselves at home. If you guys get hungry, there's all the slop you can eat. I got a sweet hot tub in the back you can chill out in, and I got Super Monkey Ball for the GameCube.
Pim
Oh, I love Super Monkey Ball!
Dude, you like Super Monkey Ball? Pim, bro, I knew I liked you, dude. Come here, bring it in- bring it in, brother!
(Mr.Boss and Pim dab up in rotoscope.)
Pim
Oh thanks. Thanks, Mr. Boss, that's nice.
[Pim watches an episode featuring an extremely bizarre green-colored dysfunctional family on TV]
MMarrj
Blart, what the devil are you doing on that confounded computer tablet device?!
BBlart
Hawk tuah, man! [Homaar enters the scene]
HHomaar
Mmm... boy. [picks up Blart and gobbles him up whole]
Pim
[chuckles] After 487 seasons, they've still got it.
Smiling Friends · 70 quotes
