Effy Stonem quotes from Skins

Effy

  Come on, JJ. Don't be pathetic, it's easy. Just tell me something true. Tell me. Tell me now.

  I love you.

Effy

  [smiling] Well everybody loves me.

  That's a relief.

Effy

JJ!? What-the-fuck!? What the fuck!?

[gabbling] Sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry...

Effy

Give me my t-shirt, fucking hopeless perv.

[fumbling for her t-shirt] I'm sorry, I...I... The door was open. I...

Effy

JJ!

I...I... I got worried.

Effy

[taking her shirt and slipping it on] About what?

I... I dunno, I mean, I thought I might've... I dunno, okay. [angrily] I was pissed at the two of you.

Effy

Two of who?

I heard what you were saying! I want you to stop doing that -

Effy

[enquiringly] JJ? What the fuck?

You and Cook.

Effy

[confused] I haven't seen him for days.

Yeah? Well don't... Don't diss me while you're having sexual intercourse, because... Because you might think it's funny, but I... [realising what she said] Sorry!? [In horror, as he realises Cook was having sex with someone else] Uh oh. [Effy approaches] Uh oh!

Effy

JJ, are you gonna give me some fucked up hint what you're talking about?

I... I... I usually drink mango juice when I get overstressed!

Freddie

  What is your fucking problem?

  [to Freddie] What do you want, my fucking blood? Cos' you've fucking taken everything else! You've taken fucking JJ, and now you're nicking her as well! [Freddie looks confused] She hasn't told you has she? Fuck me! I'm so glad I didn't miss this!

  What's going on?

  Effy doesn't want me anymore, do you princess?

Effy

  No.

  You're all such whizzer chums, aren't you? Ain't that right, Eff? Ain't that right, Panda? Panda's been worried lately Eff, says you dont't see each other as much as you used to. That right, Panda, yeah? I said to her, "Cupcake, maybe if you didn't spend as much time with my cock in your mouth..."—

Pandora

  Shut up, shut up, shut up! [grabs Thomas' arm] Thomas, let's go.

Thomas

  Stop. It's fine. I know.

Effy

  Wait. It was one time, right? Your party? [desperately] It was only once, right?! [Pandora cries] I need to sit down.

  [to Thomas] Umm... sorry slugger. I don't think you heard. Me fucked your girlfriend, like, multiple times.

Thomas

  What do you want me to say?

  I don't want you to say anything. Hit me. C'mon, c'mon, hit me!

Thomas

  You're just a sad little boy. [turns away]

Pandora

  Thomas, please. I stopped it. I love you. Just give me a chance—

Thomas

  [yelling] No! I have given you chances and you have not taken them! Time and time again you have lied to me! It's too late now. [quieter] I fell in love with this girl... she was good, she was honest and doughnuts... Now she's gone, and this new one... I don't like her... she makes my heart hurt.[leaves]

Effy

  Hit me.

  What?

Effy

  Just once. I wanna feel something.

  You're too pretty for your own good. That's why you destroy everything you touch.

Effy

  Look who's talking.

  I'm Guns N' Roses, love. I got an appetite for destruction.

Effy

  You're not his dad. Not really.

  And you're not his girlfriend, not really. You're gonna fucking snap that boy's heart in two.

Effy

  And you've been doing it to him every day of his life.

Freddie

  It's all your fault, you made this happen. You made it all a game first, remember that stupid fucking list?

Effy

  I know.

Freddie

  "You know?" What sort of fucking answer's that?

Effy

  The only one I've got.

Thomas

Can I come in?

Pandora

[angrily] No, you fucker.

Thomas

[enquiringly] Pandora... We started again before. Can we do it now?

Pandora

[glumly] I don't think so. You don't trust me before anything more, Thomas. And that fucks it.

Thomas

[protestingly] But I love you, Pandora.

Pandora

I know you do, Thomas. [shuts the door on Thomas]

Pandora

[to Effy] I told him that like you said.

Effy

Okay. [offers a pop tart to Effy] Eat a pop tart.

Effy

Well done. He needs to think about what he did.

Effy

How was your summer?

Freddie

Not bad. Got chlamydia.

Effy

Wow! Exotic!

Freddie

That's what I said. But then I realised Cook had it as well, and it didn't feel quite so special.

Effy

I bet it liked you more.

Why are you being nice to me?

Effy

Life's too short.

You’re such a fucking cliché.

So what's it like?

Effy

What's what like?

Love.

Effy

Great. It's really lovely.

That sounded convincing.

Effy

It's fine. Nothing's ever perfect, you know?

I thought it could be. I wanted the perfect boyfriend, perfect marriage, perfect everything.

Effy

What's changed?

Me. I don't know who I am any more.

Effy

I thought you were Katie fucking Fitch.

Freddie

You coming down?

Effy

I'm up. Way up. This is me happy.

Freddie

I totally fucking love you. Nows the bit you say...

Effy

Don't move.

Freddie

That one's JJ.

Effy

Their faces... Behind the skin.

Freddie

The skin?

Effy

Between this world and the next. Their teeth and their claws comming out trying to break through.

Freddie

Did you drop something in the cab?

Effy

Like a fart or something?

Freddie

No, like a tab or something.

Effy

A tab with your face on it. Here. A hole that fits mine. The moment I saw you, I knew it'd be the closest I'd get to being... close. I didn't know what to do with that feeling... happiness.

Freddie

Listen, Effy, you are the closest I'm ever—

Effy

But they know now! And they're hungry. Really fucking hungry. Because for as long as I've known, they've been chasing me and now they're ready, now they're strong enough to break through. And I can't fight them. I used to be able to when I was strong but... you've made me weak. And now I can't, I can't!

Freddie

Effy there's no one fucking there! Effy!

Effy

I can't! Let me go!

Freddie

Effy, listen. What do you want me to do?

Effy

They're ready now!

Freddie

Effy, stay here!

Effy

They're comming!

Freddie

I'll fight them! Is that going to stop you? I'll fucking fight them!

Freddie

Fuck off! Fuck off! You cunts, I'll kill you all!

Effy

You're no good for me, Cook. You never were.

If this was us meeting for the first time, I'd do it all again. Everything. The fucks, the fuck ups, everything. I'd do it all again.

Effy

What's that supposed to mean?

It means I still love you.

Effy

Piss off.

Naomi

Afternoon.

Effy

How's the real world?

Naomi

Fine... well, I don't know actually. Me and Emily, we're all... since... you know... the... and I don't know what we're doing... if we're OK, or if we're about to break up. Sometimes I think she can read my mind. I seriously do. I mean is that... normal? Is that what you... Eff?

Effy

You think you're going mad, so you came to see me to see what a mad person looks like.

Naomi

No. No! No! [beat] Yes.

Effy

Listen to me very carefully, Naomi: you need to get a message to the Dog Lord of Azerbaijan. He's got my toilet ticket.

Naomi

Oh, God, what are they giving you... and can I have some?

Effy

This whole thing with this girl, Sophia. Why don't you just imagine it never happened?

Naomi

But it did.

Effy

Yeah, but if you tried to think like you didn't...

Naomi

But, Am I missing something? You can't change what's already happened. I wish you could. But... you just can't.