Jian Yang quotes from Silicon Valley

Jian Yang

Question for you. What's better than octopus recipe? Answer for you. Eight recipes for octopus. My grandmother gave me a family recipe before she died in a horrible way.

Erlich

Jian-Yang, this is the assistant. We wait for the boss to pitch. The woman you saw outside. Okay?

Jian-Yang

The lady who was smoking?

Pete

Sorry, sorry... Monica was smoking? Cigarettes?

Erlich

Cigarettes? No, no, no. He's confused. He's Chinese. He's talking about this crack-addict prostitute we saw at the gas station. She was smoking cigarettes. So sad.

Pete

Oh. [leaves]

Erlich

[whispering] Jian-Yang, what're you doing? This is Palo Alto. People are lunatics about smoking here. We don't enjoy all the freedoms that you have in China.

Jian Yang

You're a con man, like Erlich!

What does that mean?

Erlich

It it's a little term of endearment we have around the house. Uh, a confident man. He sees me as a confident man, and he looks up to me. You know, you have to be patient with him, 'cause he's a bit of a moron.

Jian Yang

No, I want a new fridge, a smarter fridge. [pointing to catalog] Like this.

Erlich

Fourteen thousand dollars for a smart fridge? Unlike you, I now work for a living. I'm not gonna drop that kind of dough on a fridge.

Jian Yang

I ordered it already. I buy it for myself.

Erlich

Then why are you talking to me about it?

Jian Yang

To make you feel bad, because you are fat and poor.

Gilfoyle

You're not seriously thinking of going to Tibet. You're broke. How the fuck are you gonna pay for that?

Erlich

That's where you come in, my great friends. I figured we might pass the hat? Just give whatever you are comfortable with.

Jian Yang

I'll pay for it, whatever it costs.

Erlich

Well, it seems the smallest of us has the biggest heart. Thank you, young Jianathan. Business class?

Jian Yang

Premium economy. You fly one way.

Richard

Don't you need a visa to go to China?

Jian Yang

Yes. I can call my uncle in Beijing. He's very corrupt.