[just as Schemer and Schemee celebrate the latter's victory in the race, something falls out of Schemee's pocket and clinks to the floor]
SSchemer
[stops] What was that?
I was wondering the same thing.
WWinslow
It's a lug wrench!
[picks up the wrench] It certainly is. And I bet that this lug wrench will fit Dan's bike.
SSchemee
Uh-oh. [to his uncle] You said to do anything to win.
SSchemer
Hey, when I said "anything", I did not mean "anything".
WWinslow
And that means you're disqualified, Schemee. And I get my nickels back.
[Schemer hands Winslow back his nickels]
SSchemee
That's not fair!
Fair? Schemee, not only did you break Dan's bike, but you could've caused Dan to have a serious accident. Now, is that fair?
Well, I think you owe someone an apology.
SSchemee
But I won the race.
SSchemer
Hey, hey, hey! "Won the race"? I lost a pile of nickels, and more importantly than that, I lost the pride of the Schemer name.
SSchemee
[frowns] I'm really sorry now.
SSchemer
You're gonna be a lot more sorry when I get you home, take away your bike, and straighten out this curl! [drags his nephew out of the station] Now, c'mon! C'mon! C'mon! C'mon! C'mon! C'mon! C'mon! C'mon! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!
Harry, I'd like you to meet Billy, Billy Twofeathers. He took your old job-- Engineer, first-class.
[shakes hands with his successor] Hello, Billy.
Oh, I've heard a lot about you, Harry. You left some mighty big shoes to fill around this place.
So tell me, what you been up to?
Well, let's see. It's hard to know where to begin. For one thing,...
[in response to the ringing phone] I'll get it.
[Billy heads for the workshop]
I'm planning on rebuilding an entire steam engine. An old favorite of mine.
[she heads for the workshop as Billy approaches Harry]
I was just telling Stacy my plans to build an entire steam engine...
[barges into the station] Mr. Twofeathers! There's a boiler problem with engine 4. I need you to look at it right away.
No problem. Thanks, Harry. [leaves]
Yeah, yeah, yes, Billy. Yes.
[surprised] Harry, is that you?!
[shakes hands with Harry] Welcome back, old timer!
What have you been doing with yourself?
Well, I was just telling Billy about my plans to build...
[looks at his watch] I'm afraid that'll have to wait, old friend. I have a dozen things to do. What time do you have?
But what happened to that gold watch that we gave you when you retired?
Well, it stopped working.
I see. Well, we'll get that fixed for you! [leaves] Nice talking to you, Harry.
SSchemer
[enters and passes Harry] Hey, Harry. How ya doin'? Ah, just great. I'll talk to you later.
Schemer? Schemer? Maybe things have changed around here.
[Biff and Bull find Schemer about to part with the handbag full of jewelry]
SSchemer
Goodbye, jewels.
[Schemer, in surprise, snaps the bag shut on his hand]
I said I like your suitcase!
SSchemer
Oh, thank you very much. It is nice, isn't it?
What it is, see,-- We're detectives. Private eyes. And we're on the trail of some hot rocks!
Stolen jewelry, diamonds, pearls-- Stuff like that. We're after a lady with an English accent. She stole 'em, see? She's what we call the perp. You seen her around?
SSchemer
No, I have not! I don't know any English perps! Can't help you there. No can do.
[he and Biff reach for the bag]
SSchemer
Stacy! Stacy! [smacks the thieves] Get away from me, you!
[enters with a baseball bat] Schemer, are you all right?!
[Biff and Bull stop and look up at her]
Can I help you, gentlemen?
G'day, ma'am. We're detectives.
You see, your friend there has somethin' that belongs to us, and we'd like it back.
SSchemer
[points at the thieves] Bad men! Bad men!
Do you have something to prove that you're real detectives? A badge, some identification, something like that?
[the thieves ponder]
A badge, huh? What it is, see,-- We don't hafta tell you who we are, because we are undercover.
Oh. Well, this is my station. And unless you can prove that you're real detectives,...
No, no, no, no, no, no. Like he said, see, we're under-the-covers.
Oh. Well, I suggest that you leave.
[Biff and Bull laugh]
Who's gonna make us leave, huh? What, you?
[holds up her bat] That's right! [inches toward Biff and Bull] Now, this happens to be my station. I am the station manager. And I'm not gonna ask you one more time... to leave this station!
[intimidated] We'll be back, pal! We'll be back!
[he and Bull retreat]
SSchemer
[mockingly] "We'll be back, pal! We'll be back!" Run! Run! Run, you little chickens! Run! [laughs] You and me, Jonesy.
Schemer, what was that all about? What's an English perp?
SSchemer
No, no, no, no, no, no. A Schemer burp. [burps; gasps] Excuse me, Miss Jones! [apologetically] Excuse me, Miss Jones. Excuse me.
[he sets off]
[exasperatedly] Oh, Schemer.
Shining Time Station · 68 quotes
