John Watson quotes from Sherlock

Sherlock Holmes

I've got a theory but I need to get back into Baskerville to test it. [Pulling out phone]

John Watson

How? Can't pull off the ID trick again.

Sherlock Holmes

Might not have to. [Puts phone to ear] Hello brother dear! How are you?

Sherlock Holmes

Murder weapon and the scene of the crime, all at once! Haha, oh, this case...! Thank you, Henry. It's been brilliant.

John Watson

Sherlock?

Sherlock Holmes

What?

John Watson

[Indicating Henry, who is in a state of shock] Timing!

Sherlock Holmes

Oh. Not good?

Sherlock Holmes

Totally scientific. Laboratory conditions. Quite literally...

John Watson

[whispering] He's in here with me...

Sherlock Holmes

Alright, keep talking. I'll find you. [pause] Keep talking!

John Watson

I can't, he'll hear me...

Sherlock Holmes

Tell me what you're seeing!

John Watson

[Shuddering] I don't know, but I can hear it...

Sherlock

[In the present] I knew what effect it had on a superior mind so I needed to try it on an average one. [John stops eating and looks up, insulted.] You know what I mean.

John Watson

[about being dosed with the experimental drug] Any long-term effects?

Sherlock Holmes

None at all. You'll be back to normal, we all will, once we've excreted it.

John Watson

Think I might have taken care of that already.

Mycroft Holmes

Too much history between us, John. Old scores. Resentments.

John Watson

Nicked all his smurfs? Broke his Action Man?

John Watson

School friend, maybe?

Mycroft Holmes

[laughs] Of Sherlock's?

Looked a bit of a weirdo if you ask me. They usually are, these vigilante types. [John stares at him] What are you looking at?

Sherlock Holmes

Joining me?

John Watson

Yeah, well, apparently it's against the law to chin the Chief Superintendent.

Sherlock Holmes

[On being arrested] Hmm. Bit awkward, this.

John Watson

There's no one to bail us.

Sherlock Holmes

I was thinking more about our imminent and daring escape.

John Watson

What?

Sherlock Holmes

Ladies and gentlemen, will you please all get on your knees? [Firing the gun in the air] Now would be good!

Do as he says!

John Watson

Just so you're aware, the gun is his idea... I'm just, you know...

Sherlock Holmes

[suddenly pointing the gun at John's head] My hostage!

John Watson

Hostage! Yes. That works...

Sherlock Holmes

[John struggles to keep up with Sherlock as they flee handcuffed together] Take my hand [grabs John's hand].

John Watson

Oh, people are definitely going to talk.

John Watson

Paramedics. Mrs Hudson – she's been shot.

Sherlock Holmes

What? How?

John Watson

Well, probably one of the killers you managed to attract... Jesus. Jesus. She's dying, Sherlock. Let's go.

Sherlock Holmes

You go. I'm busy.

John Watson

Busy?

Sherlock Holmes

Thinking. I need to think.

John Watson

You need to...? Doesn't she mean anything to you? You once half killed a man because he laid a finger on her!

Sherlock Holmes

She's my landlady.

John Watson

She's dying... You machine. Sod this. Sod this. You stay here if you want, on your own.

Sherlock Holmes

Alone is what I have. Alone protects me.

John Watson

No. Friends protect people.

Sherlock Holmes

[talking to John on the phone while on the roof of St. Barts] I'm a fake.

John Watson

Sherlock...

Sherlock Holmes

The newspapers were right all along. I want you to tell Lestrade, I want you to tell Mrs. Hudson and Molly; in fact, tell anyone who will listen to you... that I invented Moriarty for my own purposes.

John Watson

Okay, shut up, Sherlock. Shut up. The first time we met - the first time we met, you knew all about my sister, right?

Sherlock Holmes

Nobody could be that clever.

John Watson

You could.

Sherlock Holmes

Please, will you do this for me?

John Watson

Do what?

Sherlock Holmes

This phone call it's, um.... It's my note. It's what people do, don't they? Leave a note?

John Watson

[as the realization dawns on him] Leave a note when!?

Sherlock Holmes

Goodbye John.

John Watson

[voice cracking] No...don't.

John Watson

[Breathing deeply to calm himself; struggling to find the words] Two years. I thought...I thought you were dead. Hm? Now you let me grieve. Hm? How could you do that? How?

Sherlock Holmes

Wait. Before you do anything you might later regret, one question, let me ask one question. [Beat. He indicates John’s moustache] Are you really going to keep that?

John Watson

[on Sherlock returning from the dead] Can you believe his nerve?

Mary Morstan

I like him.

Mary Morstan

What are you doing?

John Watson

Having a wash.

Mary Morstan

You’re shaving it off.

John Watson

Well, you hate it.

Mary Morstan

Sherlock hates it.

John Watson

Apparently everyone hates it.

Mary Morstan

Ooh. Are you going to see him again?

John Watson

No, I’m going to work.

Mary Morstan

Oh, and after work are you going to see him again?

John Watson

No.

Mary Morstan

God, I had six months of bristly kisses for me and his nibs turns up...

John Watson

I don’t shave for Sherlock Holmes.

Mary Morstan

You should put that on a t-shirt.