Irene Adler quotes from Sherlock

Irene Adler

Look at those cheekbones. I could cut myself slapping that face. Would you like me to try?

Irene Adler

I like detective stories - and detectives. Brainy is the new sexy.

Irene Adler

D'you know the big problem with a disguise, Mr. Holmes? However hard you try, it’s always a self-portrait.

Sherlock Holmes

You think I'm a vicar with a bleeding face?

Irene Adler

I think you're damaged, delusional and believe in a higher power. In your case, it's yourself. And somebody loves you... Oh, if I had to punch that face, [Looks at John] I'd avoid your nose and teeth too.

John Watson

[Laughs] Could you put something on please, anything at all... a napkin?

Irene Adler

Why? Are you feeling exposed?

Sherlock Holmes

I don't think John knows where to look. [Stands up and offers coat to Irene]

Irene Adler

No, I think he knows exactly where. [Stands in front of John] I'm not sure about you. [Takes coat from Sherlock]

Sherlock Holmes

If I wanted to look at naked women, I'd borrow John's laptop.

John Watson

You do borrow my laptop.

Sherlock Holmes

I confiscate it.

John Watson

[On Sherlock] He will outlive God trying to have the last word.

Irene Adler

Does that make me special?

John Watson

I don't know, maybe.

Irene Adler

Are you jealous?

John Watson

We're not a couple.

Irene Adler

Yes you are. [Texting] There. "I'm not dead. Let's have dinner."

John Watson

Who the hell knows about Sherlock Holmes, but... for the record, if anyone out there still cares — I'm not actually gay.

Irene Adler

Well, I am. Look at us both.

Irene Adler

I told you that camera phone was my life. I know when it's in my hands.

Sherlock Holmes

Oh, you're rather good.

Irene Adler

You're not so bad.

John Watson

Hamish [Both turn and stare at him] John Hamish Watson. Just if you were looking for baby names.

Sherlock Holmes

‎Please don't feel obliged to tell me that was remarkable or amazing, John's expressed that in every possible variant available to the English language.

Irene Adler

I would have you, right here, on this desk, until you begged for mercy twice.

Sherlock Holmes

...John, please can you check those flight schedules, see if I'm right?

John Watson

[Looking stunned]...I'm on it, yeah.

Sherlock Holmes

...I've never begged for mercy in my life.

Irene Adler

Twice.

Sherlock Holmes

Sentiment is a chemical defect found in the losing side.

Irene Adler

Sentiment? What are you talking about?

Sherlock Holmes

You'

Irene Adler

Oh, dear God. Look at the poor man. You don't actually think I was interested in you? Why? Because you're the great Sherlock Holmes, the clever detective in the funny hat?

Sherlock Holmes

No...[Takes her hand and leans in to whisper] because I took your pulse. Elevated. Your pupils dilated. I imagine John Watson thinks love’s a mystery to me, but the chemistry is incredibly simple and very destructive. When we first met, you told me that a disguise is always a self-portrait, how true of you, the combination to your safe – your measurements. [Holds up her phone] But this, this is far more intimate. This is your heart, and you should never let it rule your head. [He starts entering digits] You could have chosen any random number and walked out of here today with everything you worked for. But you just couldn't resist it, could you? I've always assumed that love is a dangerous disadvantage. Thank you for the final proof.

Irene Adler

Everything I said. It's not real. I was just playing the game.

Sherlock Holmes

I know. And this is just losing.

Irene Adler

Are you expecting me to beg?

Sherlock Holmes

[Neutral] Yes.

Irene Adler

Please. You're right, I won't even last six months.

Sherlock Holmes

I’m sorry about dinner.