SherlockJohn, concentrate. I need you to concentrate. Close your eyes.
[Sherlock grabs John by his shoulders and begins to slowly rotate turning John as he does so]
Wh-what? Why? Why? What are you doing?
Sherlock
I need you to maximise your visual memory. Try to picture what you saw. Can you picture it?
Sherlock
Can you remember it?
Sherlock
You remember the pattern?
Sherlock
How much can you remember it?
Sherlock
Because the average human memory on visual matters is only 62% accurate.
Yeah, well, don't worry, I remember all of it.
Sherlock
Really?
Yeah, well, at least I would, if I could get to my pockets! Took a photograph...
Sherlock
Oh...
Sherlock
I need to get some air; we're going out tonight.
Actually, I've got a date.
Sherlock
What?
It's when two people who like each other go out and have fun...
Sherlock
That's what I was suggesting.
No, it wasn't. At least, I hope not.
Hi, I have two tickets reserved for tonight.
BOBox office agent
And what's the name?
BOBox office agent
Actually I have three in that name.
No, I don't think so. We only booked two.
Sherlock
[from off screen] And then I phoned back and got one for myself as well.
CConvict
Mr. Holmes. Everyone says you're the best. Without you, I'll get hung for this.
Sherlock
No, no, no, Mr. Bewick. Not at all. "Hanged," yes.
[John comes in to Baker Street, where Sherlock is casually shooting up a smiley face on the wall]
What the HELL are you doing?!
Sherlock
Bored...
Sherlock
BORED! [continues to shoot wall] BORED! BORED! [stops, hands the gun to Watson] Don't know what's got into the criminal classes. Good job I'm not one of them.
So you take it out on the wall?
Sherlock
Oh, the wall had it coming.
What about that Russian case?
Sherlock
Belarus? Open and shut domestic murder. Not worth my time.
Anything in? I'm starving.
[John opens the refrigerator and finds a human head inside, does a double take]
Oh, f… It's a head. A severed head!
Sherlock
Just tea for me, thanks.
No, there's a head in the fridge!
Sherlock
Yes?
Sherlock
Where else am I supposed to put it? You don't mind, do you? I got it from the Barts morgue. I'm measuring the coagulation of saliva after death. See you've written up the taxi driver case.
Sherlock
"A Study In Pink". Nice.
Well, you know. A pink lady, pink case, pink phone. There was a lot of pink. Did you like it?
Sherlock
Um, no!
Why not? I thought you'd be flattered.
Sherlock
Flattered? "Sherlock sees through everything and everyone in seconds. What's incredible, though, is how spectacularly ignorant he is about some things."
Now hang on a minute, I didn't mean that—
Sherlock
[sarcastic] Oh, you meant "spectacularly ignorant" in a nice way! Look, it doesn't matter to me who's Prime Minister, or who's sleeping with whom—
[somewhat bitterly] Or that the earth goes around the sun.
Sherlock
Oh God, that again! It's not important!
Not important? It's primary school stuff! How can you not know that?
Sherlock
Well, if I ever did, I've deleted it.
Sherlock
Listen: [points to his head] This is my hard-drive, and it only makes sense to put things in there that are useful. Really useful. Ordinary people fill their heads with all kinds of rubbish, and that makes it hard to get at the stuff that matters! Do you see?
[brief silence; looks at Sherlock incredulously] But it's the solar system!
Sherlock
[extremely irritated] Oh, hell! What does that matter?! So we go around the sun! If we went around the moon or round and round the garden like a teddy bear, it wouldn't make any difference! All that matters to me is the work! Without that, my brain rots. Put that in your blog—or better still, stop inflicting your opinions on the world!
There are lives at stake, Sherlock! Actual human live— Just, just so I know, do you care about that at all?
Sherlock
Will caring about them help save them?
Sherlock
Then I'll continue not to make that mistake.
And you find that easy, do you?
Sherlock
Yes, very. Is that news to you?
Sherlock
[realising] ...I've disappointed you.
[sarcastically] That's good, that's good deduction, yeah.
Sherlock
Don't make people into heroes, John. Heroes don't exist, and if they did, I wouldn't be one of them.
[After Sherlock ripped off the explosive coat from John]
Oh, Christ. Ffff— Are you okay?
Sherlock
Me? Yeah. Fine. I'm fine. Fine. ...That, uh, thing that you, uh, you did that, um, you offered to do, that was, um... good.
Well, I'm glad no one saw that.
Sherlock
Mm?
You ripping my clothes off in a darkened swimming pool. People might talk.
Sherlock
People do little else. [smiles]
[returning to the room] Sorry, boys! I'm soooo changeable. It is a weakness with me, but to be fair to myself, it is my only weakness. You can't be allowed to continue. You just can't. I would try to convince you, but everything I have to say has already crossed your mind.
Sherlock
Then probably my answer has crossed yours. [points gun at Moriarty, then points it down at John's explosive coat on the floor.]
[Continuing from the cliffhanger in "The Great Game", Sherlock is pointing a gun at John's explosive coat. Moriarty stares at Sherlock's decision with a touch of fear. Suddenly Staying Alive by Bee Gees plays. It's Moriarty's mobile phone]
Sherlock Holmes
Oh no, please. You've got the rest of your life.
[Moriarty answers his phone]
Hello? ... Yes, of course it is, what do you want? [Mouthing to Sherlock] Sorry!
Sherlock Holmes
[Mouthing back sarcastically] Oh, it's fine!
[Listens to the phone for a moment, then shouts] SAY THAT AGAIN! [normal voice] Say that again and know if you are lying to me, I will find you and I will skin you!
Sherlock · 206 quotes
