[George is out to dinner with his parents after moving back in with them]
EstelleMaybe you should take a civil service test.
I’m not taking a civil service test.
Look at this, George. [Pulls a coin out of his pocket] Have you ever seen a silver dollar?
Yes, I’ve seen a silver dollar.
Estelle
Why don’t you want to take a civil service test?
To do what? Work in the post office? Is that what you want me to do?
Can you believe when I was eighteen, I had a ssssilver dollar collection?
Estelle
You get job security; you get a paycheck every week..
I’m a college graduate, you want me to be a mailman?
You know, I could never bring myself to spend one of these. I had some kind of uhhhhh, phobia.
Estelle
So what are you gonna do?
I don’t know. I do know that I have some kind of a talent, something to offer. I just don’t know what it is yet.
I bet that collection would be worth a lot of money today. [Does a slight of hand trick and George looks annoyed]
[On the verge of tears] Oh my god..
I don’t like this waiter. [Holds his hand up and snaps his fingers trying to get the waiters attention] Look at him. He sees us. Doesn’t wanna come over.
I need some air.. [Gets up from the table and starts walking away]
Estelle
George, where are you going?
[Looks back] I got a lot of thinking to do.
Is there anything wrong with getting a receipt at a tollbooth?
MCMother Costanza
I'm going upstairs.
This stack should be bigger.
I'm missing TV Guide ... Volume 41, number 31.
Elaine took it to read on the subway.
Elaine took it? -I didn't know she took it.
Well, it's two weeks old.
How could you let her take the TV Guide?!
Walking into my house, stealing my collectibles!
Estelle
[screaming] Oh my God! [she enters holding a small packet] This was in our bed.
[taking the packet] What is this? [accusingly to George] A prophylactic wrapper?!
Estelle
What is this doing on my bed?!
I'll see you later. [leaves with unseemly haste]
You were having sex on our bed?!
Estelle
Who told you you could have sex in our bed?
[pleading] Well, my bed is too small.
Your bed is too small? I'm gone two weeks and you turn our house into, into Bourbon Street!
Estelle
Where am I going to sleep?
What are you talking about?
Estelle
I can't sleep in there!
Estelle
I can't! [screams] I can't!
That's it! You're grounded!
[incredulously] You can't ground me, I'm a grown man.
You wanna live here? You respect the rules of our house. YOU'RE GROUNDED!!!
Estelle
Georgie, I'm a divorcee.
No, you're not a divorcee. You're just separated. You're — you're a "separatee."
Estelle
Well, I'm out there, George.
No, you're not out there.
Estelle
I am, too!
You're not out there! You can't be, because I am out there. And if I see you out there, there's not enough voltage in this world to electroshock me back into coherence!
[ George Steinbrenner is at the Costanza's house to tell Frank and Estelle that George has "died"]
Estelle
I can’t believe this. He was so young. How could this have happened?
Well he had been logging some pretty heavy hours; first one in the morning, last one to leave at night. That kid was a human dynamo.
Estelle
Are you sure you’re talking about George?
You are Mr. and Mrs. Constanza..
What the hell did you trade Jay Buhner for?! He had 30 home runs and over 100 RBIs last year! He's got a rocket for an arm… You don't know what the hell you're doing!
Well, he was a good prospect, no question about it. But my baseball people love Ken Phelps's bat. They kept saying, “Ken Phelps. Ken Phelps.”
Seinfeld · 352 quotes
