[while playing Scrabble] "Quone"?
"Quone"? No, I'm afraid that I'm going to have to challenge that.
[Jerry picks up the dictionary]
No, you don't have to challenge that. That's a word. That's a definite word.
Quone. To quone something.
[Jerry looks up the word]
I'm not playing with you anymore.
MortyQuone's not a word.
[showing the dictionary] No good. Sorry. There it is. Get it off.
[to Kramer] Why did you make me put that down?
Nah, we need a medical dictionary! If a patient gets difficult, you quone him.
I'm trying to get out of this Big Brother program. So when you get to Paris (handing Morty the postcards) all you have to do is drop 'em in any mailbox.
Morty
But there are no stamps on these.
Well no not yet, you gotta buy french stamps (pauses) I-I'll reimburse you of course.
He wants this guy to think he's in Paris.
Because George is a deeply disturbed individual.
Morty
Alright, are you ready to eat?
Oh, right, let's go. Jerry, let's go, it's time to eat. We're going to dinner.
4:30? Who eats dinner at 4:30?
Morty
By the time we sit down, it'll be quarter to 5.
I don't understand why we have to eat now.
We gotta catch the early-bird. It's only between 4:30 and 6.
Morty
Yeah. They give you a tenderloin, a salad and a baked potato, for $4.95. You know what that cost you after 6?
Can't we eat at a decent hour? I'll treat, okay?
You're not buying us dinner.
I'm not force-feeding myself a steak at 4:30 to save a couple of bucks, I'll tell you that!
Jerry You sold my Cadillac to Jack Klompus?
Morty
And we want you to have the money.
Morty
What're you talking about? You had a check bounce at the bodega.
Oh, is that what this is all about?! I bounce a check and you sold a Cadillac?!
Well, also, Jerry, we read an article in the Sun Sentinel. [digs in her purse and extracts a newspaper clipping] It says standup comedy is not what it used to be, what with Def Jam and all.
Yeah, that Def Jam is a force.
Jerry, you know, I hear wonderful things about Bloomingdales' executive training program.
Y'know you've given this comedy thing your best shot. Yeah, you had some good observations, but it's over. Now, this Bloomingdale thing, that could be the next wave.
[Jerry has just returned from Florida, and is putting away his bag. A worried George sits at the table.]
[disbelief] So she wanted you to come up, but you left because you thought some guy might be calling you?!
[Jerry puts his bag in the bedroom and returns as George paces the floor.]
[animated] Some guy. Some guy? Neil! I have got to find out how he could get a girl like Danielle.
George, you've got Danielle. Forget about Neil. You've out-Neiled him.
[surprised] So, I'm Neil? How did I do that?
I don't know, but you better keep it up.
I'm gonna go meet Danielle. [grabs his coat] There's a new Neil in town! [triumphant laughter] Hahaha!
[George exits, cheerfully. The phone rings as the door closes.]
[to himself] I try to take a vacation, I come back, the whole operation's a shambles. [answers phone] Hello.
[In Florida, Helen and Morty each have a handset. Morty is still wearing the '#1 DAD' shirt.]
Morty
Hey Jerry. Number One here. Did you go see Izzy at the back specialist?
I will, I just walked in the door.
Morty
Helen, will you stop bothering him.
Jerry, that shirt has gone right to his head.
Morty
Number One, signing off.
[The Seinfelds hang up. Jerry's door opens and Kramer bursts in, agitated.]
Jerry, I just picked up the Cubans at the bus station. [shrill] What's going on!?
[animated] They're not real Cubans. They're Dominicans.
So, Jerry, if my investors don't get Cubans, the whole deal's off.
Jerry, once you've had real Cubans, there's just nothing else like it.
[confused] We're talking about people, right?
Yes, yes. The quality, the texture, the intoxicating aroma. These guys don't have it.
I thought they smelled pretty nice.
Jerry, your palate's unrefined.
I'm not having this conversation.
Seinfeld · 352 quotes
