Cosmo Kramer quotes from Seinfeld

Kramer

Newman and I are reversing the peepholes on our door so you can see in.

Elaine

Why?

Newman

To prevent an ambush.

Kramer

Yeah, so now I can peek to see if anyone is waiting to jack me with a sock full of pennies.

Jerry

But then anyone can just look in and see you.

Kramer

Our policy is, we're comfortable with our bodies. You know, if someone wants to help themselves to an eyeful, well, we say "Enjoy the show."

Kramer

Well, the rickshaw's gone. We strapped it to a homeless guy and he phhhffew! He bolted.

Jerry

Well, you know, 85% of all homeless rickshaw businesses fall within the first three months.

Kramer

[to Newman] See, we should've gotten some collateral from him...like his bag of cans, or...his other bag of cans...

George

Kramer, listen to me. I'm never gonna have a child. If I lose this "Frogger" high score, that's it for me.

Kramer

Believe me George; you can count on Slippery Pete.

George

Slippery Pete?

Kramer

Yeah, I don't care for the name either.

Jerry

Where are you?

Kramer

I don't know

Jerry

What street are you on?

Kramer

[looks around] I'm on First and... First. How can the same street intersect with itself? I must be at the nexus of the universe!

Hey! There's a guy burning the Puerto Rican flag!

Who! Who is burning the flag?!

Kramer

Oh, no.

Him?

That's not very nice.