A character in Sea Patrol
Played by Matthew Holmes
Sea Patrol · 221 quotes
Tied for 8th most-quoted character in Sea Patrol: in 24 of its 221 quotes
Most scenes with: Charge (11), RO (5), Buffer (5)
So, who do you think he’s protecting?
He fancies Bird. Was it you?
No.
No, Bird was cleaning ovens all night, Bomber.
Not all night, Charge.
SwainBomb, she didn’t leave the ship.
Where were you, Bomber?
Wasn’t me.
Course it wasn’t.
SwainOh, come on, she wasn’t even there. [Bomber turns to look at him.] Were you?
Oh, what? So I’m invisible now? Get out of my galley.
SwainWell, six hours left, 2Dads. Time to spill your guts.
Come on, 2Dads, tell us.
At least tell Bomber it wasn’t me.
Listen everyone, I think the right thing to do is whoever did it to fess up themselves.
That’s right.
[Silence.]
Oh, that went well.
Oh, it's a monster! Get the net!
SwainCome on mate! Get the camera, Bomb!
[Swain laughs as 2Dads reels in a small fish.]
That's your monster?
[Swain is still laughing.]
It's huge!
Mate, this thing hasn't got a micro setting!
It's bigger than it looks.
Ah, bet you say that to all the girls.
SwainYou all think you know CPR back to front.
RPC!
So, was it a rental?
SwainThe girl?
The car!
SwainOh! On a bosun's salary? Probably.
SwainHe, ma'am watch out - Cow...!
oh... It's... wet. Fresh.
SwainCan you tell me what day it is?
Luckiest day of my life?
SwainYou got that right.
Ah, I’m a free man. You know what that means, yeah?
Yeah. You can make a fool of yourself getting rejected by a whole bevy of beautiful women.
[They all laugh.]
No, no, no. Not when you guys tell them how I single-handedly saved a warship!
Oh.
Warship! Come on, right there.
SwainGet used to it, Bird, he’ll be dining out on this for years.
By the way, your shout, 2Dads.
[Swain and Bird are looking worriedly at a bite mark on 2Dads' leg.]
SwainThese aren't mozzie bites, mate.
They're not? What are they?
SwainThey're probe marks.
What?
SwainDoes it hurt to sit down?
[Now Swain is smirking while asking the question.]
SwainDid they go rectal?
[Swain and Bird started laughing at 2Dads.]
You know if my head wasn't about to explode, I'll tell you where to stick yours.
[RO passes by, turns back and leans into the room.]
2Dads, there's a call for you.
From who?
ET. He wants you to phone home.
KateLisa McCune · 70 quotes
MikeIan Stenlake · 68 quotes
ROKristian Schmid · 41 quotes
BufferJeremy Lindsay Taylor · 40 quotes
ChargeJohn Batchelor · 35 quotes
SpiderJay Ryan · 30 quotes
NavSaskia Burmeister · 29 quotes
BomberKirsty Lee Allan · 24 quotes
DutchyConrad Coleby · 24 quotes
ETDavid Lyons · 24 quotes
ChefoJosh Lawson · 19 quotes
BirdDanielle Horvat · 14 quotes
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Sea Patrol pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.