Matt quotes from Saturday Night Live

You're gonna end up eating a steady diet of government cheese, and livin' in a van down by the river!

Young man, what do you want to do with your life?

...Well, la-dee-FRICKIN-da! We got ourselves a writer here! Hey Dad, I can't see real good, is that Bill Shakespeare over there?

Dad, I wish you could shut your big YAPPER!

From what I hear, you're using that paper not for writing, but for rollin' doobies. Well there's gonna be plenty of time for doobie rollin', when you're LIVIN' IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!

Young lady, what do you want to do with your life?

Well, you'll have plenty of time for livin' in a van down by the river when...YOU'RE LIVIN' IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!