Dice quotes from Sam & Cat

Cat

(about Rita Rooney) But-but that's a girl.

Goomer

Yeah, the meanest girl in the world. She's cruel.

Dice

Wait, you're saying that the person picking on you is a girl?

Sam

[pushes him] Shut up.

Dice

Ow.

Sam

Hey, Nona. What goes…? Hey, what are you doing?

Well, I'm getting ready to go back to Elderly Acres.

Sam

What? No! What? No. You can't leave! Well, come on! What's for dinner? I mean, let's go, right? Mac and cheese and cheese and cheese and cheese, huh?

I got a phone call. I can go back now. The funk mites are gone.

Sam

Well, that's great, but—

And Cat's coming home tonight, and she's going to need her bed back.

Sam

But… but I don't want you to leave!

Oh, honey. You'll be all right.

Sam

[sobs] No, I won't!

Sam. [Pearphone rings] I think that's your phone ringing.

Sam

[answers Pearphone] Who is it?

Dice

Sam?

Sam

What do you want?

Dice

I got good news and bad news.

Sam

What?

Dice

Well, the good news is I got the cover of the magazine.

Sam

Wow. Yeah, great. What's the bad news?

Dice

One of the other boys is being taken to a scalp hospital.

Sam

That's it?

Dice

No, Cat's being arrested.

Cat

I mean, it really looks like a wig.

Sam

Wait, Cat was really arrested?

Dice

Yes. You got to get Nona to come to Arizona and bail her out, or else Cat's going to be in jail for 2 weeks.

Sam

Really? Okay, I'll try to tell Nona if I can. Bye.

Dice

Bye.

Who was that?

Sam

Oh, that was Dice and Cat.

Oh, are they coming back here?

Sam

Um, no.

What's going on?

Sam

[lying] They decide to stay in Phoenix for 2 more weeks, so Cat says you should stay here and take care of me until she gets back.

Really?

Sam

I promise.

Well, I guess I better start dinner then. [laughs]

Sam

Yep. Yes, you should. [starts lying on the couch]