Hey Harvey, help us out: Sabrina’s got a problem.
Well, I was thinking of joining the Science Club-
Really? I didn’t know you were a geek.
I’m not. That’s the problem; I’m afraid everyone will think I am.
I explained that we can’t change the whole system just for her.
Well, why does everyone have to be stuffed in a category? I mean, I don’t get it, look around: [points at various tables] The cheerleaders only eat with the cheerleaders, The geeks only eat with the geeks... I just don’t want to be labelled.
You have no choice. You have a grace period as a new student, but pretty soon, you’re going to be stereotyped.
Well, I’m a quasi-jock with semi-literary aspirations and a hint of denialism.
If only it was that simple for me. Jenny, what are you?
I tried to be an outsider, but I didn’t really fit in. Now Libby calls me a freak, and I’m okay with that.
Well... why can’t I just be me?
That’s a pretty small group.
Libby caught me coming out of Science Club.
You went to Science Club? Oh, that’s wonderful!
No, it’s not! Now Libby thinks I’m a complete geek!
I knew this would happen; it’s Zelda’s influence. I begged you to watch TV with me so you’d be normal.
Oh, be quiet! [conjures a helmet (with a visor) on Hilda's head]
[to Sabrina] Now, it shouldn’t bother you what Libby says-
It shouldn’t, but it does. I wanna use my magic to teach Libby a lesson.
That sounds very constructive.
I’m going to give her a snout!
[raises her visor] Oh, good idea!
[Zelda flicks her finger at Hilda and the visor snaps shut]
You need to talk to my friend Cicero, he’s an expert on these matters. Come on, we’ll look him up in the book. [leads Sabrina up the stairs]Are you coming, Hilda?
Yes! [tries to stand, but fails] No... I can’t. My outfits too heavy... but it’s very useful!
[Zelda manages to look up Cicero in the Magic Book]
CCicero
[to himself] There’s a girl looking at me... Don’t... panic...
[to Sabrina] Ask him what he’d do, he’s very knowledgeable.
Hey Cicero, I’m Sabrina and I have a question.
CCicero
Ask away, but make it quick; If the centurions catch me here, it’s a guaranteed swirly in the aqueduct.
...Okay... See, there’s this girl in my school, and she keeps calling me a geek, and I really don’t like it.
CCicero
I suggest that you ignore her. Okay, bye-bye. [starts edging towards the edge of the page]
No, wait! I can’t ignore her, no one can ignore her! You’ve gotta help!
CCicero
Well... There are two ways to teach her a lesson. The first is to just give her a snout...
[exasperated] What’s the second?
CCicero
Give her a taste of her own medicine: turn her into a geek. She’ll see how it feels and she’ll learn that it’s what’s inside that really counts.
CCicero
A simple spell; just, [pushes his finger up the bridge of his nose, then points] point.
Like this? [repeats his action]
CCicero
[embarrassed] Well, actually, you just have to point; My glasses were slipping.
[Sabrina enters Science Club]
Hey, I brought my rock tumbler.
[the club members all turn to stare at her]
[coldly] May we help you?
[confused] What are you doing here?
I’m the new president. And by the way, membership is closed - Science Club is now limited to six people.
SSherman
That’s how many can fit in the Space Shuttle.
You can’t do that! Where’s Mr. Pool?
I sent him for Tang and Fig Newtons. Besides, you don’t belong here. You’re not a total geek, is she guys?
SCThe Science Club
No, she’s not.
HHoward
Yeah, you never sat with us at lunch.
SSherman
And what’s you're eyesight, 20-20?
[they all laugh]
Well, stab me in the back with a protractor, why don’t you? I can’t believe you guys are siding with Libby! She used to make fun of you all the time!
SSherman
Yeah, but now she’s our leader!
[under his breath] She’s not my leader.
What did you say, Gordie?
I said... you’re not my leader... you, you’re pushy and bossy... [hides behind Sabrina] ...And if Sabrina goes, I go.
[Scene cuts to the hallway as Gordie and Sabrina run away]
That was very brave of you, Gordie!
I just thought you should know the kid next door is chucking water balloons at our house.
Mm, I know. Hilda already went out there, she said she was going to do something about it.
He’s such a little creep, he’s going to break my window.
[from outside] YARR! prepare to be boarded, Timmy!
[there's a loud boom and a flash from outside and the sound of breaking glass]
[Hilda enters the room with a soot blackened face and wearing a tricorne hat, holding up a ram rod triumphantly]
Yes! I used my cannon - it stays!
