TV show quotes
Why'd you have to get a metal bed, Pops?
[catches up to the gang and holds up her freeze gun at them before they turn to her] I heard it's good for your back. You should've left when you had the chance.
[hangs his head down] I know.
Well, now you don't have to worry about it, because even without those beds, I'll make sure you get a good night sleep. [as she's about to fire, the bird greeter gets in the way]
Oopsy daisy!
[firing her freeze gun at the entrance, blocking the gang's way] Just give me Pops, and this'll all be over.
Never!
What the heck is this thing?
I don't know.
[Rigby goes inside the teleporter and disappears]
Rigby! Are you okay? Rigby! Oh no! Oh no! Oh Rigby.
Dude!
Don't do that! Wait, how did you get all the way over here?
I don't know. I was over here and it was this flash and light, then I was over there to that pod.
Dude, do you know what this is?
Teleporter!
Dude, I don't think we're supposed to go through together.
What are you talking about?
I don't know. What if we got messed up or something?
Whatever, man, we're fine.
Still, I just don't think it's a good- [screams]
What?
Dude, your butt!
[with Mordecai's tail feathers] Aw, what? I got your butt?
[with Rigby's tail; annoyed] Oh, great. Now I'm the one-cheek wonder. I don't want your messed up butt.
Don't make fun of my butt!
Man, how do you walk with this thing? It's all lopsided.
You're lopsided!
What is going on in here? Look at this mess! I knew I couldn't trust you guys with inventory.
No, Benson. We're almost done!
No, you are done. And… what is this?
What is what? I don't know what you're talking about.
Yeah, Benson. It's a free country.
Whatever. Just go outside and rake the leaves.
Aw, come on.
Just give us five minutes!
No, now! (turns red) Move it! [locks the door] Of all the idiotic things I do around here.
[looks at Rigby, now as tall as his brother] No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Dude, now it's even worse!
I don't know, man. I'm kind of into it. I'm finally as tall as my brother. Eat it, Don, wherever you are!
Rigby! [Rigby wakes up with a startled gasp] We're rocketing through space at warp speed, and you're asleep at the controls?!
It's on autopilot. That means I don't have to push any buttons. And believe me, I tried to push a lot of different buttons.
Eileen, how close are we to the rendezvous point?
We should be coming out of warp right about... [presses a button causing the dome to exit warp drive] now.
It's just empty space.
Maybe Buttons McGee over here sent us to the wrong coordinates.
Wow, Skips, that's a really insightful name for Rigby.
Thanks. I've been reading some books.
Wait. What's that? [twists a knob to zoom in]
Alpha Dome found. Piloted by Mary Stone, John…
Alpha Dome?
It's the first dome sent into space.
Yeah, I know.
Then why were you asking?
I wasn't asking. I was just surprised.
It sounded like you were asking.
I wasn't asking!
[the spaghettified Muscle Man, Rigby, Mordecai and meatball Pops are wrung around a fork held by a suited man]
Good evening. I'm astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson.
Why can't you save us?! / Help us, bro! / What are you, just save us! / Save us!
Oh, you can't be saved now. You see, when you enter the black hole's event horizon, your destiny was sealed... by science, and then finished up by me, Neil deGrasse Tyson.
Nooo!!
Sorry, guys, it's nothing personal. This is just how the universe works. Spaghettification is real. [eats the spaghetti, burps] And delicious! Happy Halloween!
[Mordecai and Rigby are hiding in a nearby bush watching over Earl]
This guy is full of it!
Yeah! I think Earl's a big fat fraud!
[suddenly, Earl appears behind them]
Oh, you got something to say?
Yeah, when are you gonna teach him something useful?
I am.
Whatever, dude. While you're folding socks, Anti-Pops is probably off somewhere learning how to shoot fire out of his fingers!
You're really hung up on that fire out of the fingers thing.
Because it's cool!
Remind me again, how many intergalactic champions have you trained, huh? Is it zero? It's zero. Right? [he pokes Rigby with his stick twice] Right?
Knock it off, dude!
[laughs] I bet you couldn't even knock this lemonade out of my hand. Huh? Huh? Huh? [he pokes Rigby three times with his stick, Rigby focuses on the glass of lemonade in Earl's hand, then runs towards him screaming, Earl jumps into the air, performs a backflip, and lands on Rigby's head, balancing perfectly still and laughs] I could stand here all day. You make a nice foot stool.
[Rigby punches Earl's foot, but in return he is hit on the back with Earl's stick, he falls to the floor as Earl jumps off him then spins his stick in the air while laughing, before holding it against Rigby's head]
Okay! You're legit!
[Earl laughs as he takes a sip of lemonade]
[looking at the picture while he's feeling sad] I don't want to let you down. I will never be strong as Anti-Pops.
[comes in angrily] STOP TALKING TO THAT SAD PICTURE! BREAK'S OVER!
Our bees about to be stung, and by that, I mean our butts.
Why?
Anti-Pops forever grows in power. We must hasten our training.
How are we gonna do that? Even with everyone helping, it's still going slow.
Have you heard of the ancient technique of... training montaaage?!
Montage?
No. What is it?
Masters of it could condense time and space to train faster. They could skip right over the parts where they took a break to pee or fart.
Wait, that sounds familiar.
Oh, yeah! It's a film technique in which a collection of shots cut with wipes and dissolves in quick succession as used to condense space and time. I went to art school.
Yes, exactly! By doing this, they will able to do weeks of training in mere days to reach the next level.
Is Pops gonna level up like in a video game?!
Something like that.
Cool!
[Mordecai and Rigby are both sleeping in their room, when they are both suddenly woken up by the song playing once again]
Ugh, it's so early.
[in the kitchen, Mordecai and Rigby are eating breakfast, groaning at the repetitive nature of the training and the song. Pops suddenly teleports in as part of the montage to write his signature, knocking both Mordecai and Rigby to the floor. Later, Mordecai and Rigby are both walking through the park, when Pops suddenly teleports in front of them as part of the montage, and punches them repeatedly with his eyes closed]
Wait, stop! Pops! Wait! No! No!
Pops! Wait! No! No!
[Mordecai and Rigby are playing video games in the living room, when Pops runs in with Earl on his back, he runs through the wires between the console and the controllers, causing the console to fall to the floor, and the controllers to be taken away with him]
Whoa!
Hey!
[as a result, Mordecai and Rigby lose at the game they're playing]
You lose!
Aw, man!
Ugh, how long is this gonna take?
Level up!
[Mordecai and Rigby walk into their room]
Dude, I can't handle this song anymore.
He played it like 120 times. What are we gonna do?
I got an idea, let's change the tunage.
Aah! Not again! Why do you ALWAYS disobey me?!
Whatever, you're not my dad.
(Turning red) You know what, Rigby? You're... bad! You're a bad boy. And you HAVE been all year!
Pssh. Name one time.
[Flashbacks to all the bad deeds Rigby has done.] Rigby... you... are a... bad... boy!
Hey, man, no one's perfect.
Well, enough is enough! No Santa for you this Christmas. This year, you'll get a visit from Krampus.
Who?
He's the Anti-Santa. Instead of giving presents, Krampus comes to punish all the bad children by stuffing them into his basket.
Huh.
It's a European thing. I'm sending to him Email at you right now.
You wouldn't do that! [messages him and gasps] You're ruining my life! [runs off]
You know, Krampus isn't real, right?
Oh, I know, just trying to scare him.
[singing] Breakfast cake, cake, cake cake cake. Ca-ca-ca-cake! Ca-ca-ca-cake! Ca-ca-ca-cake! Ca-ca-ca-cake! [he sees everyone in the dining room doing nothing] Where's cake?
With Pops.
Where's Pops?
He left a note. [gives the note to Rigby]
[reads the note] "Dear friends, I've gone to see my evil brother. Cake fixes everything. You'll see. Sincerely, Pops."
He's going to get himself killed.
Himself and us so.
We gotta go find him.
[feeling sick and has nightmares] Bad show!
[checking his temperature] He's so weak.
What did Anti-Pops do to him?
It was the same thing he did to Earl, like he almost erased him from existence or something.
Let's just do what Earl said and get Pops to the Seer.
Now approaching Planet Nielsen.
[looks outside] That's a planet?
It looks like some weird appliance.
[looks outside] I got a bad feeling about this.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Regular Show pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
