“Right To Remain Silenced (Episode 74)” quotes from Red vs Blue

I don't recognize the authority of this court.

Sarge

No one cares what a convicted criminal thinks.

Who's the prosecution?

Sarge

Well, I am, of course.

You're the judge and the prosecutor? That's a conflict of interest!

Sarge

I object to that as speculative. And I also sustain my own objection!

Well, if you're the judge and the DA, and I'm the defense, you know Donut's gonna wanna be the bailiff, and that means he's gonna wanna wear the cop uniform with the short shorts.

Ugh, Officer Hot-pants.

Exactly. And I think we can all remember that dance routine from Sarge's birthday party.

Oh, my God, that cake is huge! It's big enough to fit a person in it.

Why does the cake smell like baby oil? Oh God, where's Donut?!

I haven't been here in quite some time. Which one is the blue base?

It's the blue one.

Oh, yes. They're really thinking outside the box with the design.

Hm... it's quiet. Too quiet.

Now suddenly it's too loud. I preferred it when it was quiet.

Alright Hold it right there!

[Subtitled] I see someone now. I think he has a gun.

Yes, I see that. Thank you for keeping us informed... Moron.

That was a warning shot, O'Malley. If you make any funny moves, the next one is going right in the middle of your visor.

You think you can make that shot from here?

Uhh, probably not since I was actually trying to hit him that time. I swear to God, I think someone fuck's with the sights on this thing when I'm not looking.

We want something from you, but we're not going to tell you what it is until we need it, HAHAHAHAHA!

No way, I'm not agreeing to something without knowing what it is.

(Chuckling fiendishly) Oh yes you will. You will or else your little friend Tucker will die. Die a most horrible death. And you know his blood will be on your hands. Years from now you'll drive yourself mad wondering if there was anything you could have done to save him. So you will let me do what I want. You will agree even if what I want is something mysterious. What I want is something frightening! What I want is something PURE EVIL!(Laughs madly) I've also been told that a $20 co-pay is pretty much standard.

All right. Fine.

Ah, you fool. And we want the $20 up-front!

Fine!

And in cash.

Whatever!

Ah, you moron! If you'd used a credit card you could have gotten airline miles, or at least a 30-day grace period with no interest. You fiscally irresponsible fools.

Caboose, give me 20 dollars. Wait, give me 30 dollars.