[Simmons and Grif run back to the base where Donut is standing next to the flag]
(panting) Big... tank... shooting... Whoo!
Damn, man, we only ran like 300 feet. You are really out of shape!
General Patton here had a great strategy to leave it behind.
Hey, it would've worked if that tank hadn't shown up.
You lost the jeep? Oh man, Lopez is gonna be pissed. Where is it?
[Sheila's cannon fires, and the Warthog lands next to them on top of the red base]
[Shelia fires at the base]
Oh crap! What the hell is that thing?!
Hey, uh...Grif, uh, you wanna hold the flag for a little bit?
No! Keep that away from me!
I hate to be the one to point this out guys, but i think we're screwed.
Yeah, I have to agree with the rookie on this one.
[Radio sounds] Blood Gulch outpost #1, come in Blood Gulch outpost, come in. Do you read me? This is Sergeant-
Oh my god, Sarge, is that you?
Roger that, private. I am currently inbound to your position from command.
Hello, Simmons. I hope everything's gone alright while I've been gone.
Actually sir, things are kind of hectic right now. The new rookie arrived and somehow he managed to infiltrate the blue base. And now we have their flag, the warthog is damaged, one of their guys is dead, and there's this huge fucking tank about to destroy our base.
[Slight Pause]
Am I talking to the right base?
Sarge, we are going to die here!!
Well then hold tight boys, I think I gotta solution to your little tank problem.
[A large shadow flies over the Red Base]
Hey, Caboose, you might wanna get out of the tank like right now!
I can't figure out how to GET THIS THING OPEN!
[Line of explosions approach the tank as Caboose is talking]
(desperate) Ok... open the... ok... uh, Sheila will you please open the door?
Driver canopy open. Thank you for using the M808V Main Battle T-
[Caboose escapes as Sheila is hit by an air strike, blasting her upside down]
Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap!! Running, running, running! Man... That was close.
Look at your tank though.
[in a fading voice, referencing 2001: A Space Odyssey] I'm scared Dave. Will I dream? Daaaivvvvy... Daaaivvvvvy...
(screaming) SHEEEEIIIIIILLLLLLLAAAAAAA!!!! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
What? No! Sheila! Sheila! Wait, who's Sheila?
(devastated) Shiela's the lady in the tank. She was my friend.
Oh, dude! I knew you could pick up chicks in a tank!
