[Church and Tucker are ducked behind rocks to avoid gunfire from the jeep]
My God, doesn't that thing ever run out of bullets?
You know, in hindsight, we should have brought the tank.
(obviously annoyed) Hey, Tucker, what good is a tank gonna do us if nobody here knows how to drive it?
Yeah, I can see how hiding behind a rock is a much better strategy.
Well... yeah, but... oh man, I guess I gotta give that one to you.
[Caboose enters the tank's cockpit, and the engine starts]
Hello, and thank you for activating the M8O8V main battle tank. You may call me Sheila.
(nervously) Hello... Sheila... big tank lady...
Would you like me to run the tutorial program?
Oh that'd be very nice. Thank you!
Tutorial program activated. This program is intended to instruct non-certified personnel in the use of this Scorpion-class tank. Let's begin with some driving.
Okay.
Simmons! SIMMONS!! (Simmons stops shooting) Man! That thing is loud!
WHAT?
Come on, let's sneak around the back of the rock and get 'em out.
OKAY!
Keep it down! Jesus! Let's go, before they figure out what's going on.
[Caboose, learning how to drive the tank, has rammed it against a rock with most of the treads off the ground]
Now that you've mastered driving the M8O8V, let's move on to some of the safety features.
No! No, wait, go back! Why are there six pedals if there are only four directions?
(whispering) Psst! Hey! They stopped firing.
Why are you whispering?
(whispering) Ummm...I don't know.
[Tank drives up as Grif and Simmons are talking]
Aw crap! I don't think we're gonna be able to get around this way.
Tell me again... uh, why did we get out of the jeep?
[Sheila pulls up behind them]
Well, I guess it was this, or sit there and watch you shoot rocks all day long.
Well at least that was fun.
[Both notice the tank]
Ho-ly crap. What in God's name is that thing?
Tucker, don't be stupid. They're just trying to draw us out.
No they're not! Look! They left the jeep. They're gone!
Well... I don't know about this. It seems pretty fishy but... a'ight, screw it! Let's go get it.
[Tank aims at Grif]
Dude, hold still. I don't think it sees us.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Red vs Blue pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
