We could all put our heads together and the bullet could go down the line!
Back to Reality
Psirens
There, on the floor... P-S-I-R-E-N-S... "Psirens?"
The poor sucker must have written it using a combination of his own blood, and even his own intestines.
But who would do that?
Someone who BADLY needed a pen.
What I wanna know is why he went to the trouble of using his own kidney as a full-stop.
I don't think he meant to do that. I think it just... plopped out.
[Starbug is threatened by a giant rogue asteroid that could be a mere illusion.]
Suggest we maintain course. That asteroid does not exist.
Suppose you're wrong?
Sir, I'll stake my reputation on it.
Kryten, you haven't got a reputation.
No, sir, but I'm hoping to acquire one from this escapade.
There's an old cat proverb, "It's better to live one hour as a tiger than a whole lifetime as a worm."
There's an old human proverb, "Whoever heard of a worm skin rug?"
Legion
Step up to Red Alert!
Sir, are you absolutely sure? It does mean changing the bulb.
Look, maybe we can reason with it. Open communication channels, Lister. Broadcast on all known frequencies, and in all known languages, including Welsh. This is acting senior officer Arnold J Rimmer of the Jupiter Mining Corporation transport vehicle Star Bug. Now hear this, 'cos it's only coming once: We surrender, totally and without condition. Thank you for listening. Oh, additional: sorry to take up your valuable time. Sorry. Thank you. Sorry. Bye. Bye. Sorry. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Gunmen of the Apocalypse
Lister, she's a computer sprite. She's just a load of pixels.
Yeah, but what pixels.
You're going to go with one of my plans? Are you nuts? What happens if we all get killed? I'll never hear the last of it.
Well, Sheriff, looks like it's just little old you.
I'm not afraid, Mr Death, sir. My friends have bought enough time for me to complete the antidote program. So, if you'll forgive the confrontational imperative, go for your guns you scum-sucking molluscs!
Sir, I just can't eat anymore raw coffee.
Two more bowls.
But I am sober, honest!
OK, who are you and why're you here?
I'm some kind of robot who's fighting this virus, and none of this exists, it's all in a fever, except for you guys, who really do exist, only you're not really here, you're really on some space ship in the future. Hell, if that's got to make sense I don't want to be sober!
We're gonna cut you up so small, the worms won't even have to chew!
You can't scare me, I'm a coward! I'm always scared!
Emohawk: Polymorph II
[First lines of the episode; Rimmer is trying to get the sleeping Lister and Cat to take part in an emergency drill]
SCRAMBLE! SCRAMBLE!
[sleepily] Yeah, that'll be great with bacon and beans, man.
Look what it did to me! It's turned me into Duane Dibbley -- the Duke of Dork.
[While looking for the Emohawk]
According to the psi-scan, it's somewhere in this location.
It's the barrel! [shoots at the barrel] Sorry. False alarm. That chain, it's moving! [shoots chain] Sorry. Sorry.
Sir, try and remain calm. You're experiencing a classic knee-jerk, paranoid reaction to a terror situation. It's essential at this time that we - IT'S THE WALL! [shoots the wall] Shame overload. I... I... I sorry.
CHANGE OF PLAN! LEG IIIIIITTTTT!
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