I don't get it. Vince hanging out with King Bob? It's crazy.
Hey, if you think that's crazy, you should see who Gretchen's hanging out with.
Who is Gretchen hanging out with?
Gretchen[hanging upside-down with her new best friend, Upside-down Girl] Whoa, what a rush.
Gretchen
Oh, hello, Theodore.
Gretchen
Writing my essay about my new best friend, Upside-down Girl, using my space pen from NASA by the way.
But you don't even like hanging upside-down.
Gretchen
Oh, I guess that shows how much you know about me, doesn't it?
Gretchen
Please, I don't wanna talk about it anymore. It's far too easy to throw up in this position.
This is weird. Gretchen hanging with Upside-down Girl, Vince guarding King Bob.
Gus digging with the diggers. Whoops. Did I say that out loud?
[They find Gus hanging out with the diggers]
As far as I'm concerned, I don't care if I ever play with any of you guys again.
Come on, Gus, you mean you'd rather play with the diggers?
Are you kidding? Sam and Dave are great! They let me dig as much as I want, and I get to keep the shiny rocks I can find.
DSDigger Sam
Hey, Griswald, break's over! Give me a number four shovel, now!
Yes, sir. I better go. My new friends need me.
Can't you tell them to wait?
Are you nuts? They'll take away my helmet.
This is terrible. I-I can't believe this is happening.
You know T.J., you look like you could use a little spiritual advice.
[They meet Mikey hanging out with Guru Kid as his new best friend]
Cease becoming, my friend. Begin to be.
KKid
Huh? I don't get it. How is that supposed to get me out of detention?
GKGuru Kid
[impressed] Very good, my son. You have learned well.
Thanks, Guru Kid. You're a real friend, unlike some people.
Mikey, what are you doing?
Communing with people who appreciate my innate spiritual gifts.
I appreciate your insane spiritual gifts, Mikey. Now put your shirt on and let's all just be friends again.
No, T. J., I'm way too hurt to be friends with you guys anymore. Now if you'll step aside, there are kids here who need my help with some very important issues.
[reading his "Best Friend" report out loud to the class] "People say a best friend is the most important friend a kid could have, that a best friend is someone who makes you laugh, someone you go to for advice, someone who can come to you for advice. Well, that's great for people who have a best friend, but I don't. I have no best friend. But there are some friends I do have. One's a great athlete, the most popular kid in school. He could hang out with anybody, but instead, he hangs out with me. Another friend of mine is the smartest kid I ever met. She could probably build an atom bomb, but instead, she uses her brains to help me when I'm down. And then I've got a friend who's so tough, she could take on a guy twice her size, but instead, she stands up for kids who can't defend themselves. Another one of my pals is a big guy, real big. To a lot of kids, he looks scary, but he wouldn't hurt a fly. In fact, he's got a heart of gold. And then there's my newest friend. Some guys say he's a scaredy-cat, but I know deep down, he's a hero. When I see him swallow his fear and do what needs to be done, it reminds me of why things are worth standing up for. Yeah, some people say a best friend is the most important friend a kid could have, but I say, "Why pick one? All my friends are the most important friends I have." So don't feel sorry for me, I'm the luckiest kid in the world. I don't have a best friend. I have five!"
[The class cheers for him]
[touched while sniffling] He thinks I'm a great athlete.
[Later after school… the gang has been reunited]
Well, guys, it's great to have the gang back together.
Let's never fight again, okay?
By the way, sorry about the geek comment, Gretchen.
Gretchen
No problem, old friend.
And I apologize about calling you fatso, Mikey.
That's okay, little fella.
[T.J. and his friends see Gretchen approaching them in a big box]
Gretchen
T.J.? [bumps into the fence] Pardon me.
So, Gretch, what's with the box?
Gretchen
I'm using it to make a pinhole projector so we can view the upcoming solar eclipse. You can't look at an eclipse with the naked eye, you know, it would scorch your retina.
Man, there's nothing like a good field trip.
Yep, nothing in the world. MISOOE, here we come.
Gretchen
MISOOE, Gus, the Museum of Industry, Science, Oceanography, Oddities, and Energy. It's one of the finest, most sophisticated museums in the world.
My big brother told me they got a dead guy sliced up real thin, like cheese, so you can see right through him. Can't get more sophisticated than that.
DDDigger Dave
I hear they got a real working coal mine that goes right down through the floor.
Coal mine? Please. The best thing there is the gift shop. They got accessories from around the world.
AQAshley Q.
And they accept credit cards.
What? Oh, that's nothing!
Man, this is gonna be the best field trip ever.
[Mikey, T.J., and Gretchen are sitting on the swings as Gus, Vince, and Spinelli approach them after searching everywhere for Gretchen's stolen Galileo]
I looked in Miss Grotke's class.
And I checked the P.E. room. Nothing.
Gretchen
[worried] This is a nightmare!
Let's go over this again. You asked the diggers, you talked to the Ashleys, you checked the Lost and Found... [Gretchen's eyes widen open] You did check the Lost and Found, didn't you?
[Gretchen gets up from the swing and quickly runs off to see Menlo]
Gretchen
The Lost and Found box, Menlo. I need to see it, now!
MMenlo
That's not the way it works. You tell me what you lost, and I'll tell you if it's in the box. Those are the rules.
Gretchen
[sighs] One Galileo hand-held PC Model G55 serial number 76502.
MMenlo
Oh, yeah. [takes out the box] Spiffy little piece of tech. 300 meg chip, voice activated control, cellular email.
Gretchen
Yes, yes, that's it! Is it in there?
MMenlo
Nope, I just like asking. [as Gretchen digs around in the box] I do remember seeing something like that, though.
Gretchen
Where?
MMenlo
I don't know. My memory's a little hazy.
Gretchen
[grabs and pulls him by the collar; sharply] OUT WITH IT!
MMenlo
Okay! Okay! Just don't hurt me! Yesterday at recess, I was…
Gretchen
[narrating] Menlo sang like an old guy in the shower when nobody's home. He told me who had Galileo. It was Greg Skeens, the graffiti kid, guy who couldn't spell "computer," much less use one. Menlo told me where to find him. I don't make it a habit to slum in the Third Street School underworld. But if I wanted Galileo back, I had to hold my nose and plunge in. [finds Greg Skeens drawing a graffiti of Finster] Nice work. You're a regular Degas.
SSkeens
What'd you call me?
Gretchen
Nothing. Listen, I seem to have misplaced my hand-held computer. About yea big, matte-black finish, soothing voice. Maybe you've seen it around.
SSkeens
You mean that TV remote I found under the bench by the kickball field? I traded it for a stick of gum. Stupid thing didn't even work on my TV.
Gretchen
Who?! Who did you trade it to?!
SSkeens
Hey! I'm no blabbermouth. Now beat it. I'm busy. I need to write something nasty about Finster before the bell. Uh... how do you spell "meanie?"
[Gretchen finds Kurst in the cafeteria kitchen where she's eating all the food from the fridge, after Mundy told her about trading her stolen Galileo to her]
Gretchen
[confronting her; demanding] Kurst! I want my Galileo computer! I know Mundy gave it to you and I want it back!
KKurst
That piece of junk? I traded it. You can't eat a copy thingy. Now butt off! I'm about to enjoy an all-I-can-eat buffet, courtesy of Third Street School.
Gretchen
But, but-
KKurst
You heard me, blow! Go on, dangle!
Gretchen
[narrating] Maybe I should've just turned around and walked away. Maybe I should've gone to the authorities and let the system do its job. Maybe I should've done a lot things, but I didn't. Before I knew it hit me, something inside me snapped. [shouting in fury] KURST!!! I WANT MY GALILEO, AND I WANT IT NOW!
KKurst
Oh, you do, do ya? Well, that's too bad, 'cause I handed it over… TO SEÑOR PUDDING!
[The two girls start fighting by throwing food to each other; fade back to the present]
Gretchen
I got Kurst good a couple of times, then she blind-sighted me with a bowl of tapioca. When I came to my senses, she was gone. I managed to sneak out of there, unseen, but by the time I was done wiping pudding out of my hair, Finster was all over me like a pig on sorbet.
SBSue Bob
But I don't get it. How'd Finster finger you?
LMiss Lemon
It wasn't so tough, girly. Gretchen here, left a trail of clues a mile wide. "Nefarious" happens to be the word she won last year's spelling bee with. The viscosity of liquid soap was the subject of her blue ribbon science fair project, and finally, here's a tissue, for Pete's sake, you missed a spot of tapioca on your glasses. Oh, you're smart, Grundler, but it's all book and no street. [laughs]
Gretchen
[takes off her glasses to wipe off the tapioca spot] Anyway, I guess you could say I got what's coming to me.
LMiss Lemon
[answers the phone] Yes, sir? I see. [hangs up] Okay, Grundler. He'll see you now.
Gretchen
[gets up; to Sue Bob] Wish me luck. [enters Principal Prickly's office]
[as she takes a seat in front of him; sternly] Well, well, Miss Grundler, you're the last person I would've expected to go rotten, but facts speak for themselves. As much as it pains me, I'm afraid I must lower the boom on you.
Gretchen
I understand, sir.
[offended] It's not fair. It's just not fair.
[also offended] Yeah, this whomps.
How come you guys get to miss school and we don't?
Gretchen
Because the Young Inventors Fair is an invitational exposition.
Means you gotta be invited.
Gretchen
It's a great opportunity to show off exciting new ideas from smart young minds.
So why is Spinelli going with you?
'Cause she needed a smart kid to be her assistant. Wanna make something of it?
N-not at all. May I be the first to wish you success on this and all future scientific endeavors?
Come, Gretchen, our colleagues await.
Girls. They sure stick together.
Here we go. Hmm, let's see. Seven! One, two, three, four, five, six, seven! "Great riches will soon be yours." Oh, scary. Someone else give it a shot. Come on! You guys don't buy that Stinky Peterson junk, do you?
Of course not. I pick four. One, two, three, four. "You will pass your greatest test with flying colors." Hey, that's not so bad. I think this thing's a friendly fortune teller.
Gretchen
I'm next. Logic dictates we go girl, boy, girl, boy until we run out of girls. I pick one. "You will take a trip to an exotic land." My word, that is exciting!
My turn. Oh, great fortune teller, what wonders await me? Great riches? Fame? Adventure, perhaps? I pick five. One, two, three, four, five. "Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow is your final day?" Hey! What kind of fortune is that?
Come on, Gus. None of that stuff's gonna come true. I mean, it's hard enough to imagine Spinelli getting rich and Gretchen taking a trip, but T.J. passing a test with flying colors? Get real.
[Cut to Miss Grotke's classroom]
Congratulations and karma kudos, T.J. Detweiler. I know one smart boy whose aura is going to glow all.
Gretchen
But that can't be right! I only got 100%.
Wow! T.J. Passed his test with flying colors! It's just as the fortune teller foretold.
[While all the kids are forced by Miss Finster to clean up the mess in the cafeteria after their food fight…]
Oh, man, I got more food on me from cleaning than I did in battle!
Guys, I can put an end to this if I just told on…
[as he and the others cover his mouth; sternly] Don't say it, Gus.
But you don't understand! It was… [his friends cover his mouth again]
Gus, I'm serious. Don't say it. That'll make you a tattletale.
Yeah, and being a tattletale is against the kids' unwritten code of honor.
Are you sure? I mean, it is unwritten and all.
Gretchen
Not anymore, Gus. Behold, the code has now been issued on this convenient and durable laminated reference card.
[reading] "Tattletale go to jail. Stick your head in a garbage pail." [sighs] It's pretty clear, all right.
Recess · 128 quotes
