T.J quotes from Recess

Can't you see that I'm trapped in here? I've counted the ceiling tiles 13 times, guys. There's 1,678. You hear me? 1,678!

There are a lot of Ashleys out there, but there's only one Spinelli.

I don't need anyone! I'm a self-made boy! I'm king of the world!

What we need is more proof. Let's all meet back here tomorrow morning early. Then we can really start investigating. One way or another, we're going to uncover the secret life of Grotke.

Boys kissing girls? Girls kissing boys?

Gretchen

Surely, there must be some mistake. I mean, this defies the rules of nature and physics. Besides that, it's disgusting!

But Butch says it's the future. His brother Joey told him.

Oh, please! The day I stop caring about dodgeball is the day the Earth starts spinning around the sun.

Gretchen

Which explains the D minus you got in Science.

Ack! Puke city!

Quick, someone get me some mouthwash!

You realize we may have to get married after this.

You realize I may have to kill you after this.

Hey! One of you drop five bucks?

Oooo...

Scandalous! Jinx!

We're all Ashleys, too.

Ashley A

But, you aren't even girls!

Gus

Hey, it's the nineties.

Hey, Ms. Finster?

Yes, Detwiler?

...Are those your shoes, or did you mug a clown on the way to school?

Why, you little HOOLIGAN! [Runs after T.J.]

She's back!

[reading] I did it. Signed, T.J.?

AHA, a confession!

The criminal always returns to the scene of the crime.

But Miss Finster, you dragged me here!

Mikey

Don't you see what's happening? You're all acting like animals. Can drives aren't about winning or losing; they're about helping people and being generous and sharing our bounty. Who wins and who loses matters not. So let's just put all the cans together and forget about that dumb turkey dinner. What do you say?

There's only one thing to say. Give me that can!

The pyramid! NOOOOOOOOO!

Look out, she's gonna blow!

Mikey

Look what you've all done! Now nobody's gonna have a good Thanksgiving!

[whistles, stopping the gang's fighting] Come on, guys. We're all pals here. Who cares whose best friend I am?

Vince

Well, I do care who my best friend is. And if that's the way you feel about it, T.J., then I don't want to be friends with you, or any of you. [storms off]

Same here. [also storms off]

Gretchen

Me too. [also storms off in the opposite direction]

Mikey

Goodbye. [walks off]

Gus

Uh, what they said. [also walks off in the opposite direction]

But… but, guys, wait! Come back!

Randall

Oh, boy, that was neat! So, you ready to tell me your favorite color?

I don't get it. Vince hanging out with King Bob? It's crazy.

Randall

Hey, if you think that's crazy, you should see who Gretchen's hanging out with.

Who is Gretchen hanging out with?

Gretchen

[hanging upside-down with her new best friend, Upside-down Girl] Whoa, what a rush.

Gretchen?

Gretchen

Oh, hello, Theodore.

What are you doing?

Gretchen

Writing my essay about my new best friend, Upside-down Girl, using my space pen from NASA by the way.

But you don't even like hanging upside-down.

Gretchen

Oh, I guess that shows how much you know about me, doesn't it?

But, Gretchen…

Gretchen

Please, I don't wanna talk about it anymore. It's far too easy to throw up in this position.

This is weird. Gretchen hanging with Upside-down Girl, Vince guarding King Bob.

Randall

Gus digging with the diggers. Whoops. Did I say that out loud?

Gus

As far as I'm concerned, I don't care if I ever play with any of you guys again.

Come on, Gus, you mean you'd rather play with the diggers?

Gus

Are you kidding? Sam and Dave are great! They let me dig as much as I want, and I get to keep the shiny rocks I can find.

Hey, Griswald, break's over! Give me a number four shovel, now!

Gus

Yes, sir. I better go. My new friends need me.

Can't you tell them to wait?

Gus

Are you nuts? They'll take away my helmet.

This is terrible. I-I can't believe this is happening.

Randall

You know T.J., you look like you could use a little spiritual advice.

Mikey

Cease becoming, my friend. Begin to be.

Huh? I don't get it. How is that supposed to get me out of detention?

Mikey

Next.

[impressed] Very good, my son. You have learned well.

Mikey

Thanks, Guru Kid. You're a real friend, unlike some people.

Mikey, what are you doing?

Mikey

Communing with people who appreciate my innate spiritual gifts.

I appreciate your insane spiritual gifts, Mikey. Now put your shirt on and let's all just be friends again.

Mikey

No, T. J., I'm way too hurt to be friends with you guys anymore. Now if you'll step aside, there are kids here who need my help with some very important issues.