Mikey quotes from Recess

Mikey

Madness! Madness!

Mikey

This is all we have to remember him by.

Mikey

I just don't get it? Why would the chicken wanna make us think he taste good? Doesn't he know what happens to tasty chickens?

Mikey

Fiddle on, thoughtless Nero, as your precious empire burns all around you!

Mikey

It goes to show you can't judge a book by its cover. Or a horny toad, neither.

Mikey

There are lots of people without names.

Gus

Like who?

Mikey

Like the Artist Formerly Known as Prince, the Unknown Soldier, and the other four guys in the Jackson Five.

Hey! One of you drop five bucks?

Oooo...

Scandalous! Jinx!

Recess has been cancelled.

Vince

Cancelled? But why?

[opens the door] Rain.

Mikey

The horror! The horror!

Mikey

Don't you see what's happening? You're all acting like animals. Can drives aren't about winning or losing; they're about helping people and being generous and sharing our bounty. Who wins and who loses matters not. So let's just put all the cans together and forget about that dumb turkey dinner. What do you say?

There's only one thing to say. Give me that can!

The pyramid! NOOOOOOOOO!

Look out, she's gonna blow!

Mikey

Look what you've all done! Now nobody's gonna have a good Thanksgiving!

[whistles, stopping the gang's fighting] Come on, guys. We're all pals here. Who cares whose best friend I am?

Vince

Well, I do care who my best friend is. And if that's the way you feel about it, T.J., then I don't want to be friends with you, or any of you. [storms off]

Same here. [also storms off]

Gretchen

Me too. [also storms off in the opposite direction]

Mikey

Goodbye. [walks off]

Gus

Uh, what they said. [also walks off in the opposite direction]

But… but, guys, wait! Come back!

Randall

Oh, boy, that was neat! So, you ready to tell me your favorite color?

I don't get it. Vince hanging out with King Bob? It's crazy.

Randall

Hey, if you think that's crazy, you should see who Gretchen's hanging out with.

Who is Gretchen hanging out with?

Gretchen

[hanging upside-down with her new best friend, Upside-down Girl] Whoa, what a rush.

Gretchen?

Gretchen

Oh, hello, Theodore.

What are you doing?

Gretchen

Writing my essay about my new best friend, Upside-down Girl, using my space pen from NASA by the way.

But you don't even like hanging upside-down.

Gretchen

Oh, I guess that shows how much you know about me, doesn't it?

But, Gretchen…

Gretchen

Please, I don't wanna talk about it anymore. It's far too easy to throw up in this position.

This is weird. Gretchen hanging with Upside-down Girl, Vince guarding King Bob.

Randall

Gus digging with the diggers. Whoops. Did I say that out loud?

Gus

As far as I'm concerned, I don't care if I ever play with any of you guys again.

Come on, Gus, you mean you'd rather play with the diggers?

Gus

Are you kidding? Sam and Dave are great! They let me dig as much as I want, and I get to keep the shiny rocks I can find.

Hey, Griswald, break's over! Give me a number four shovel, now!

Gus

Yes, sir. I better go. My new friends need me.

Can't you tell them to wait?

Gus

Are you nuts? They'll take away my helmet.

This is terrible. I-I can't believe this is happening.

Randall

You know T.J., you look like you could use a little spiritual advice.

Mikey

Cease becoming, my friend. Begin to be.

Huh? I don't get it. How is that supposed to get me out of detention?

Mikey

Next.

[impressed] Very good, my son. You have learned well.

Mikey

Thanks, Guru Kid. You're a real friend, unlike some people.

Mikey, what are you doing?

Mikey

Communing with people who appreciate my innate spiritual gifts.

I appreciate your insane spiritual gifts, Mikey. Now put your shirt on and let's all just be friends again.

Mikey

No, T. J., I'm way too hurt to be friends with you guys anymore. Now if you'll step aside, there are kids here who need my help with some very important issues.

[reading his "Best Friend" report out loud to the class] "People say a best friend is the most important friend a kid could have, that a best friend is someone who makes you laugh, someone you go to for advice, someone who can come to you for advice. Well, that's great for people who have a best friend, but I don't. I have no best friend. But there are some friends I do have. One's a great athlete, the most popular kid in school. He could hang out with anybody, but instead, he hangs out with me. Another friend of mine is the smartest kid I ever met. She could probably build an atom bomb, but instead, she uses her brains to help me when I'm down. And then I've got a friend who's so tough, she could take on a guy twice her size, but instead, she stands up for kids who can't defend themselves. Another one of my pals is a big guy, real big. To a lot of kids, he looks scary, but he wouldn't hurt a fly. In fact, he's got a heart of gold. And then there's my newest friend. Some guys say he's a scaredy-cat, but I know deep down, he's a hero. When I see him swallow his fear and do what needs to be done, it reminds me of why things are worth standing up for. Yeah, some people say a best friend is the most important friend a kid could have, but I say, "Why pick one? All my friends are the most important friends I have." So don't feel sorry for me, I'm the luckiest kid in the world. I don't have a best friend. I have five!"

Gus

[touched while sniffling] He thinks I'm a great athlete.

Well, guys, it's great to have the gang back together.

Mikey

Let's never fight again, okay?

You got it, pal.

Vince

By the way, sorry about the geek comment, Gretchen.

Gretchen

No problem, old friend.

Gus

And I apologize about calling you fatso, Mikey.

Mikey

That's okay, little fella.

...Did he just do what I think he did?

Mikey

Yup.

[She screams to show her reaction; she tries to run after Prickly, but gets grabbed by Mikey] LET ME AT 'IM! LET ME AT 'IM!

No! I won't give in. I won't let this thing beat me!

Mikey

[zombielike] It's no use, T.J. Eventually you will join us.

Gus

I looked in Miss Grotke's class.

Vince

And I checked the P.E. room. Nothing.

Gretchen

[worried] This is a nightmare!

Let's go over this again. You asked the diggers, you talked to the Ashleys, you checked the Lost and Found... [Gretchen's eyes widen open] You did check the Lost and Found, didn't you?

Mikey

I guess that was a no.

Gretchen

The Lost and Found box, Menlo. I need to see it, now!

That's not the way it works. You tell me what you lost, and I'll tell you if it's in the box. Those are the rules.

Gretchen

[sighs] One Galileo hand-held PC Model G55 serial number 76502.

Oh, yeah. [takes out the box] Spiffy little piece of tech. 300 meg chip, voice activated control, cellular email.

Gretchen

Yes, yes, that's it! Is it in there?

Nope, I just like asking. [as Gretchen digs around in the box] I do remember seeing something like that, though.

Gretchen

Where?

I don't know. My memory's a little hazy.

Gretchen

[grabs and pulls him by the collar; sharply] OUT WITH IT!

Okay! Okay! Just don't hurt me! Yesterday at recess, I was…

Gretchen

[narrating] Menlo sang like an old guy in the shower when nobody's home. He told me who had Galileo. It was Greg Skeens, the graffiti kid, guy who couldn't spell "computer," much less use one. Menlo told me where to find him. I don't make it a habit to slum in the Third Street School underworld. But if I wanted Galileo back, I had to hold my nose and plunge in. [finds Greg Skeens drawing a graffiti of Finster] Nice work. You're a regular Degas.

What'd you call me?

Gretchen

Nothing. Listen, I seem to have misplaced my hand-held computer. About yea big, matte-black finish, soothing voice. Maybe you've seen it around.

You mean that TV remote I found under the bench by the kickball field? I traded it for a stick of gum. Stupid thing didn't even work on my TV.

Gretchen

Who?! Who did you trade it to?!

Hey! I'm no blabbermouth. Now beat it. I'm busy. I need to write something nasty about Finster before the bell. Uh... how do you spell "meanie?"