Miss Finster quotes from Recess

Mobile transport one, we are ready to lock and load. Operation Field Trip is a go. Move! Move! Move!

The nerve of that birthday boy, leaving me to do my own grunt work. Let's see. Any evidence of contraband. Chewing gum? Candy wrappers? Hmm, what have we here? Jackpot.

[to Gus and Gelman] All right, you left-behinds, it's fun time.

I think what Miss Finster's trying to say is, every year we give the fourth graders this little standardized test. You get a whole 45 minutes. It's not for a grade, so there's nothing to be afraid of.

You're a wimp, you know that, Grotke?

Recess has been cancelled.

Vince

Cancelled? But why?

[opens the door] Rain.

Mikey

The horror! The horror!

[enraged when Gus' trap accidentally drops the cage on her, which was meant for Gelman] GRISWALD!!!

Y-you was gonna trap me in that thing?

That's right, Gelman. You step out of line once more and bam! You're Finster-ized.

[kindly] Uh... children. [the gang turns to her; infuriated] GET ME OUT OF HERE!

Attention, miscreants. You've (all) been cleaning for over an hour already, and no one's come forward to squeal.

Vince

That's 'cause we've got the code. Right, guys?

You may be strong in a group. But we'll see how you hold up to individual interrogations. [Gus gulps nervously] We will start in alphabetical order. Beginning with… Adam Able.

[disappointed] Oh, man, I'm always first. Why couldn't I have been born Zebadiah Zwick?

Care for a soda, Randall?

Randall

Gee, thanks, Miss Finster. Don't mind if I do.

I need you to do me a little favor, Randall. Somebody out there knows more than they're admitting. I want you to find out who it is.

Randall

You got it, Miss Finster. As always, it's a pleasure working with you.

It's only a matter of time.

Next!

Gus

[shouting in protest] YOU'LL NEVER MAKE ME TELL! THERE'S A CODE! AN UNBREAKABLE KID CODE! [covers his mouth]

A code, eh? Well, let's just see if we can't crack it. Forget the alphabets, sonny, you're next!

Vince

Gus. You okay, man?

Did you crack?

Back off, guys. Give him some air.

[blowing her whistle] This investigation is officially closed. Thanks, boys. I've ID'd the perp. The culprit is… [sighs] Randall Weems.

Randall

No, I-I didn't mean to do it! It was an accident, I tell you! The mashed potatoes slipped out of my hand!

I'm very disappointed in you, Randall. My own little weasel gone bad. My world is shaken.

Randall

[berating Gus as he's being taken away] Griswald, you ratted me out! You're a tattletale, you hear me?! A TATTLETALE!!!

STOP! Unhand that boy.

We'll get you later, Griswald, when your girlfriend's not around.

Cute, Jerome, but this boy told me nothing. Poor Randall was fingered by science.

Detweiler! I knew I'd catch the culprit sooner or later.

Huh?

This official memo proves that you're the rapscallion who threw Principal Prickly's flip-flops on the roof.

I'm innocent, I'm telling you! Randall, you set me up.

Randall

I didn't. I... I--

You and the birthday boy can iron out your petty differences later, after one week of level-4 detention.

[as Miss Finster takes him away] I'VE BEEN FRAMED!

Randall

[laughs nervously as the rest of the gang glares at him] Anyone for a bounce?

Vince

When we catch you, we are going to bounce you to the moon!

Randall

But I threw the note in the trash! How was I supposed to know Finster would find it?

Gus

Not that I don't love leaves, but what's going on today, anyway?

Gretchen

The town's bustling because the 60-year-old statue of Thaddeus T. Third III has been returned to its rightful place in front of the school that bears his name.

Mikey

Gee! I don't remember any statue ever being out here.

That's because it's been overseas for eight years getting shined and--

Gretchen

Thaddeus T. Third III!

Mikey

He's so regal! His chiseled features seem to say, "I'm an important fellow."

Not to me, Mikey. To me they say, "Hop on, Jasper! I'm built for climbing."

Mr. Mayor, distinguished guests, "big story news" team. It is an honor to host this "Welcome back, Thad" celebration, welcoming back a man with whom we all grew up, a man for whom this street and school are named. A man named... Thaddeus T. Third III!

[chuckles cheekily] How you doin', folks?

He's going over! BAIL!

You gettin' this?

[outraged] Prickly! Do you know what this means?!

[before Prickly could say anything] He certainly does, Mr. Mayor. [to the gang] You six are in the biggest trouble ever!

Man, oh, man. My mom and dad didn't take too kindly to the news last night.

Gus

Pop says I'm not allowed to have another accident until I'm 35.

Mikey

People were crying in the interviews! It was tearing me apart!

Look, first thing we do when we get to school, is knock on Prickly's door, explain our side of the story, and apologize up and down.

Vince

Good idea, Teej. That should clear things up. [Later at school, they're watching Randall and some other kids playing in a leaf pile] Poppin' bobula! Randall just got first flop in our leaf pile!

[closing the window blinds] No window-gazing for you six! Time to start your punishment. Now, I can make this difficult, or I can make this difficult.

Miss Finster, ma'am, before detention, we would like to speak to Principal Prickly.

Ha! For obvious political reasons, Principal Prickly can't afford to be seen with you. Now, follow me... Vandals!

Gus

Gee, Miss Finster, I don't know if I like being called a vandal.

Maybe your new outfits will help you feel the part.

[confused] New outfits?

My, my! Don't we look so very...orange? I trust "the Destructive Six" are feeling constructive today?

Yes, sure we do, Miss Finster, but when do we get to tell people how sorry we are?

Enough back talk! Time to receive your new tools. [holds out a bucket of soap and water and six toothbrushes]

Gus

But I already brushed my teeth.

Oh, they're not for your teeth. [laughs evilly]

Any chance you have a plan for this one, Detweiler?

No, ma'am, I do not.