Eek, a pervert!
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
[In a flashback scene, Ukyo is telling the story of how Tsubasa has stalked her since they went to the same boys' school]
TTsubasa
[offers Ukyo a handful of gifts] Dear, dear Ukyo, here.
Tsubasa, I don't want to hurt your feelings, but... I've already got a fiancee! [the last word echoes]
TTsubasa
Oh! [begins to weep]
[Back to the present day, female Ranma and Akane are eating okonomiyaki at Ucchan's while Ukyo tells them the story. Suddenly Tsubasa, inside a garbage can, whirls into the restaurant and slams female Ranma down onto Ukyo's grill face first]
OW! That's hot!
TTsubasa
[speaking into microphone] But rejection only spurred me on. I decided to put my thoughts on paper, sending Ukyo letter after letter, until the skies were filled with pretty pink envelopes.
I needed some way to take the heat off me, which is how I came up with the idea of sending Tsubasa your picture, Ranma.
Which Ranma was it in the picture?
The girl Ranma, of course. What did you think? Tsubasa thought I was a boy at the time. I didn't want anyone thinking I was a pervert.
[in reference to Akane beating Ranma at arm wrestling] You know how I despise cynicism, but I don't think Ranma's taking this well.
[After hitting his head against a rock in the koi pond, Ranma not only turned into a girl, but now thinks he really is a girl]
[holds up 3 fingers] Ranma dear, how many fingers?
Three fingers!
[points to Soun] Do you know who this person is?
My dear Uncle Tendo!
[points to Genma, in human form] And this is?
Octopus Face!
[points to Happosai] Good, and him?
An Oompa-Loompa!
[giggling] She seems perfectly normal!
Akane, that's enough! In this case, I'm afraid it's you who's perverted!
When ramen for Ranma, Shampoo deliver anytime.
Even Ranma deserves to be treated like a human being!
The kitty cat is coming. The kitty cat is coming.
[Shampoo, Kodachi and Ukyo have agreed to fight to determine who should be allowed to spend Xmas with Ranma. Akane then appears, and the girls ask if she wants to join in]
[impersonating Shampoo] Ranma belong to me.[impersonating Kodachi] Ranma-darling and I are going to spend Christmas Eve together, ho ho ho. [impersonating Ukyo] Ranma-honey is mine, you hear? [normal voice] I'm sick and tired of listening to the 3 of you! Do you all understand me? Unfortunately for all of you, Ranma isn't going to spend Christmas Eve with any of you!
What?
Huh?
Maybe you coming down with something, Akane.
I feel fine, Shampoo. Ranma is... Ranma is... Ranma's going to spending Christmas Eve with me, you understand?
I even stopped and got you a little something for Christmas. I didn't have time to wrap it though. [starts handing out presents] Here, you like it? Also a music box, and a... and I saw these cool cards that I thought you'd like. What do you think?
Ranma, you remembered.
[Flashback to Akane asking Ranma for these exact things; in the present, Akane cries tears of joy]
And there's some other stuff here. Hey look, it's snowing. Huh? Hey, are you crying?
No.
Curse those evil Octopi.
Ranma no go school! Ranma take Shampoo to date!
It seems I have a little business proposition for you all...
[Kasumi is sick in bed and unable to cook breakfast]
Don't worry, Kasumi! I'll take care of absolutely everything!
Let's go, Ranma!
Yes sir!
[Genma and Ranma strap on their backpacks and prepare to leave. Akane blocks their way]
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
Isn't it obvious? We're going to a place far, far away where your cooking can't hurt us.
Is that right? [attacks Ranma] DIE RANMA!
Papa, let me... [starts coughing]
[teary-eyed] Kasumi, we appreciate your sacrifice, but you need your rest!
[to Ranma] You haven't even tried it!
I don't have to eat it to know it's toxic.
[In the "Cursed Tunnel of Lost Love" after Akane scolds him for not seeing the ghosts that are scaring her] Jeez, you don't have to make a big production out of it. Why don't you just come out and say it [doing his best Akane imitation] "EEK, Ranma, I'm scared of ghosts. Ranma!" Why can't you be honest?
Here I am practically having a heart-attack while you [uppercuts Ranma] while you make stupid jokes.
Aah!
Can't you tell I'm being serious?
Talk about being stupid! There's no such thing as ghosts!
[A ghostly apparition of Kodachi appears.]
Aah, Ranma-darling!
YAH!
[the "apparition" is revealed to be the real Kodachi, with Sasuke shining a flashlight under her chin; Ranma tries to run but Kodachi grabs a hold of his shirt] Oh, Ranma-darling, I'm ever so frightened of the spooky-ooky dark! You will walk me to the exit, won't you, darling?
[trying to escape Kodachi] No ghost is spookier than her!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Ranma ½ pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.