Soun quotes from Ranma ½

Hey! Wait a minute! [Runs away from Shampoo]

Soun

When he's a boy, she just wants him. When he's a girl, she wants him dead...

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I'm going to a drugstore in China to buy some of that memory restoring shampoo.

Nabiki

Wow, in China?

Soun

Going to China son?

Have a nice trip Ranma. I'd love a souvenir. What should I ask for? Oh, we're all out of oolong tea. Buy me some would you?

Soun

Cigarettes and rice wine for me please.

Oh and I'll need a hand painted tea set to serve it in.

Nabiki

I would just love a pair of jade earrings, Ranma. Oh and one of those Chinese silk dresses OK?

Oh and Jasmine tea. I could use some ink and brushes for my calligraphy.

[By now Ranma isn't even paying attention]

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[Ranma is hurling insults at Akane in an attempt to restore her memory of him]

You are just so uncute!

[Akane suddenly starts and looks shocked, as though she'd just remembered something she'd forgotten]

Soun

That's it! Ranma, do it again!

You're uncute!

Soun

Whoa, now she's responding! Ranma, try making your words even stronger. Somewhere in her heart what you say is having an effect.

Now that's something I'm good at! You're built like a stick! Your face makes me sick! Your thighs are too thick! You can't even kick! You're dumb as a brick! You talk like a hick! Your hair's a cowlick! You itch like a tick!

Ranma, you JERK!

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[Kasumi is sick in bed and unable to cook breakfast]

Don't worry, Kasumi! I'll take care of absolutely everything!

Genma

Let's go, Ranma!

Yes sir!

[Genma and Ranma strap on their backpacks and prepare to leave. Akane blocks their way]

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

Isn't it obvious? We're going to a place far, far away where your cooking can't hurt us.

Is that right? [attacks Ranma] DIE RANMA!

Papa, let me... [starts coughing]

Soun

[teary-eyed] Kasumi, we appreciate your sacrifice, but you need your rest!

[to Ranma] You haven't even tried it!

I don't have to eat it to know it's toxic.