[referring to a tight pair of jeans] They're a little bit like a cheap hotel ... no ballroom.
S1 E17Radio Ralph: Ralph S.
[with his head covered] Crouching Tiger, Hidden Drag Queen.
S1 E18Stand Up and Deliver: Kevin D
You live in a dump like a crazy person. This is freaking me out.
[on seeing a photo of Kevin's glamorous model girlfriend] I like long walks on the beach, leopard-print bikinis, and squalor.
[about Kevin's hair] His inspiration was Johnny Depp. [to Kevin] Were you high?
[testing out her new married name] Matilda Downey. Jr.
Sounds like a drag queen with a drug problem.
[holding a book entitled "Please Kill Me"] I think he wrote this book. He wrote this book after living here for a year.
S1 E19Compose Yourself: Warren L.
Tucking is so last week.
Mother tuckers!
It's like taking a wire hanger from the cleaners and faux-painting it wood.
[talking to a small model owl] Oh Mr Owl, I'm sorry you're stuck here with these smelly straight folk [kisses the owl].
No more musical theater until this room is clean!
When you look at this color, what feeling does it evoke?
Must die now.
S1 E20Queer Guy for the Skate Guy: John Z.
They should just stay home and make sweet, sweet love.
You know, they really should.
These are horrible!
Sylvia and I made them.
These are delightful!
Here's a tip for you: when buying a velour tracksuit, stop.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Queer Eye for the Straight Guy pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.