Michael quotes from Queer as Folk (US)

Michael

I thought straight actor's didn't take gay roles?

Michael

Is it a class for lesbian mothers? I won't shave my legs, no one will notice.

Michael

[About Hunter's boyfriend] We're very open minded. Doesn't matter if he has tattoos, body piercings... He doesn't, does he?

Michael

Do you think maybe it's just a phase? Maybe he hasn't met the right boy.

Michael

Rather than missing what used to be, I look forward to what's yet to be.

Michael

They say that change is good for you, that it keeps you on your toes. Well, if that's true, I should be a fucking ballerina.

Michael

So the thumps-thumpa continues. It always will, no matter what happens, no matter who's president. As our Lady of Disco, the divine Miss Gloria Gaynor, has always sung to us, "We will survive."

Michael

We need to go. We want to eat.

Brian

I'm just gonna give him my number.

Michael

What'd you do, write it on your penis? How long is this gonna take?

Brian

[looks at the face of the guy] Ten minutes. Tops.

Michael

That was quick.

Ted

Not when you've had as much practice as he's had.

Brian

I got bored.

Emmett

I know, getting your dick sucked can be so tedious.

Emmett

Oh my God, look. He must've followed us.

Michael

Christ! It's just what I need.

Emmett

Honey, it's what we all need.

Emmett

[stops Michael] Hey, when was last time you got laid?

Emmett

My point exactly. If you can't remember, then it's time.

Emmett

Ooh! Don't mind me, just uh... can't sleep without my milk and Oreo's.

Michael

This is my friend Emmett. He's staying with me temporarily since the hooker who lived down the hall from him burnt his apartment building down two years ago.

Two years is a long time to be temporary.

Michael

And yet it hasn't interfered with my love life... which I suppose says a lot about my love life.

Lindsay

We've been thinking of names. Mel wants to call him Abraham after her grandfather, but I like Gus.

Brian

What do you think?

Justin

You wouldn't survive a day in school named Abraham, but I guess Gus is okay.

Melanie

Thank you very much, and who the hell are you?

Brian

His name's... Juh...

Michael

Justin.

Brian

You were on the phone when he shot his load all over me.

Ugh...

Lindsay

Oh Brian!

Brian

He can't help it. He's only 17.

Melanie

So you and Lindsay each had an infant tonight.

Brian

Mine doesn't suck on my breasts... unless I want him to.

Michael

It's kinda weird you're having a kid. Still it's exciting, isn't it?

Brian

What? Having some wrinkled little time clock ticking away? Reminding you that you're getting older by the minute, by the second?

Michael

Keep thinking like that you're gonna end up prematurely gray... Oh I think I see one.

Brian

There is always one solution. I could end it all right now!

Michael

That would be dramatic. Just like ER… birth and death in the same episode. Now, get down!

Brian

C'mon, Mikey, let's fly... like in all those comic books. I'm Superman. I'll show you the world!

Michael

Why am I always Lois Lane?