Marcus Brigstocke quotes from QI

Jimmy Carr

It can mimic anything? I'd make it woof. How funny would that be, if you had a bird that woofed?

Alan Davies

I'd get it to do limericks.

Marcus Brigstocke

I'd probably get it to do Bill Oddie.

Stephen Fry

Surely that would be a bearded tit, if it was anything.

Alan Davies

You're thinking of Rory McGrath.

Sean Lock

Salamanders can go in fire, can't they?

Stephen Fry

Yes, that's the legend, presumably that's what happened.

Marcus Brigstocke

How long can a salamander go in fire?

Sean Lock

'till it's cooked!

Stephen Fry

The Eiffel Tower. They loathed it. Guy de Maupassant loathed it so much that his favourite restaurant was …?

Alan Davies

The "Eiffel Tower is Crap" Bistro.

Stephen Fry

No, it was in the Eiffel Tower.

Alan Davies

Oh, so he didn't have to look at it.

Stephen Fry

So—exactly. The one place in Paris he couldn't see the Eiffel Tower was inside the Eiffel Tower.

Marcus Brigstocke

Could he not maybe just ask for a chair facing the other way?

Stephen Fry

He was a French writer trying to make a point, and therefore a git.