Jack Whitehall quotes from QI

Jack Whitehall

Good books, you don't need to bother reading. Like it's controversial to say it, but I don't think Harry Potter is worth reading, because its so expertly narrated on the audio-books [which Stephen Fry narrated]. [Laughter] You know after I listened to the Harry Potter books with you narrating them, everything in my life is narrated by Stephen Fry. All my thoughts, my internal monologue is now Stephen Fry's voice. Even the dirty thoughts. [Laughter] It makes it acceptable. I had a sexual thought the other day, I put my hand in the air, I had a sexual thought about Camilla Parker Bowles. It didn’t seem weird, [points at Stephen] because Stephen was saying it.

Jack Whitehall

This is like watching two great stags...

Jack Whitehall

[imitating a tannoy] 30-15, Fry.

Stephen Fry

What is this noise, listen up carefully?

Stephen Fry

Beginning with "K"...

Jack Whitehall

A klaxon.

Alan Davies

[pointing at Jack] Ha, ha!

Stephen Fry

Yes, in a strange sort of way pop just et itself, didn't it?

Stephen Fry

What colour is a red kite?

Jack Whitehall

Blue!

Sara Pascoe

Black.

Alan Davies

Red.

David Mitchell

White.

Stephen Fry

Oh, thank you Alan.

Stephen Fry

The thing is, they were named before we had a word for Orange. We just used Red for anything that was Orange as well. We had the word orange for a fruit, but didn't use it for the colour until the 16th Century.

Sara Pascoe

We always think it was the colour that named the fruit, but it was the fruit that named the colour.

Jack Whitehall

[Gets a question right and rips open his shirt in excitement, baring his chest.]

Stephen Fry

You made a happy man feel very old.

Stephen Fry

Who likes clowns?

Jack Whitehall

UKIP supporters. They are kind fun and comical and wear silly clothes. But they are also terrifying.

They also have a lot of white faces.

Do you think you're good in bed?

Jack Whitehall

No I haven't passed that test either. I failed on three majors and one minor...

Stephen Fry

Was there an emergency stop? These are the worst...

Jack Whitehall

I kept changing lanes, when I shouldn't...