Phineas and Ferb · Season 1
Based on my calculations, the planet will be here by midnight!
That's great news!
Our planets are going to collide! You do know what that means?
Sure, it's like when you have two sets of keys, and you keep one in the car.
No, it means- [realizes what Buford just said] NO! [facepalms]
[voice-over] It all started simply enough. I got up early to help Isabella earn her surf patch.
[voice-over] And I told her it was no problem.
No problem!
[voice-over] It was at that point that I decided to stop narrating.
Pizza- [loud crash as Agent P's jetpack crashes in the theater, sending the woman and Rodney flying off the stage] AAH!
Pizza delivery!
[crowd claps and cheers for Doofenshmirtz as the curtain closes]
[impressed by Doofenshmirtz's performance] What an entrance!
He was always kicking sand in my face. When I was in the sandbox: sand. My first date: sand! Balancing my checkbook: sand! The beach- Oddly enough nothing. But I couldn't relax, because I kept waiting for it.
Well, Boris owns a car dealership now, and declined to appear on this show. But he did send some sand! [A huge mound of sand falls on Doofenshmirtz]
Well, at least he cared enough to do that.
Oh, Balloony, I missed you so mu- [Balloony pops] BALLOONY!
[Laughs] We're just having fun with you! That wasn't the real Balloony.
[Crying] It wasn't?
No, of course not. The real Balloony popped three weeks ago. [Doofenshmirtz resumes crying]
It's a pitiful existence I lead, Perry the Platypus. Do- Do you pity me? You should because I am pitiable. Everyone should pity me. Eh, you don't have to say pity too many times before it stops sounding like a word. Pity. Pity. Pit- See? That is only like two times and it's already just gobbledygook. Gobbledygook, too. I can't- I can't even get through that once. Gobbledy- Now see, I am not even consider the last syllable and it's already... [sighs] Great. Now, I am forgetting what I was talking about... Which is another reason to pity me! YEAH! Back on topic, baby!
So when all the members of the offending team clear the defensive zone at the same time, the delayed offset call is negated.
Wow, you really do know hockey.
Are you kidding? Did you know a referee makes most penalty calls-
[talking into a microphone connected to Candace's headset] While the linesmen may call only obvious technical infractions- [To Ginger] Go away.
Obvious technical infractions- go away. The player who committed the infraction is- no give me that. No Ginger, I'm busy. I said give me that back. If you don't give that back to me right now- Candace, gotta go. [Candace smiles nervously after realizing what she said]
'Scuse me, I gotta get through here.
Woah woah woah! You're not allowed out there.
But I gotta go get my mom! This is a shortcut to the gift shop!
I'm sorry. You can't go out there. That's for players only.
Players, huh?
You're gonna go get a uniform and try to get out there, aren't you?
Is that a problem?
No, as long as we're clear on the concept.
If those were my boys, they'd be so busted.
Please, adopt me now! AUGH! Mom!
[standing with Jeremy on a balcony, watching the fireworks] You know, I don't know if I'm gonna be able to keep this resolution.
That's okay. I like you just the way you are. Happy New Year, Candace.
Happy New Year, Jeremy. [they kiss; fireworks go off reading "HAPPY NEW YEAR"]
Actually, instead of improving one of our old inventions, we should make something brand new! Something simple.
Well, what is summer all about?
[singing "Summer (Where Do We Begin?)"] ♪ Summer is running through the sprinklers in your T-shirt, shoes, and... ♪
Yeah, we all know the song. But I'm not exactly sure how....
[Phineas and Ferb's Giant Tire Swing flies by a space shuttle]
Whoa! That is so weird! We're in a space shuttle and the shuttle program ended years ago!
It's the best Inator I've ever made! And you know what, Perry the Platypus? There's no self-destruct button on this, so there's no way you can stop me from taking over the entire Tri-State-
[Phineas and Ferb's tire swing lands on the Inator]
Wow. Well, like my Uncle Boris used to say: "When life's going well, a giant tire comes along and smashes your Inator." We all thought he was crazy at the time, but now he seems rather prophetic.
Wait, no, no! Don't open the door; you'll let in Perry the Platypus!
You know he'll just blow the door down if you don't open it. [opens door revealing Perry holding a bazooka] Come in, Perry. Toodles!
I'm worried about her, Perry the Platypus. [turns his head to Perry] Hey! You were going to to blow down my door! [Perry puts the bazooka down gently, but accidentally blows up Doofenshmirtz's wall by mistake, much to Doofenshmirtz's anger and to Perry's embarrassment]
¡Hola, Candace! Ooh, don't you look lovely!
Thank you, Mrs. Garcia-Shapiro!
Jeremy'll be along in a minute, honey!
Is your mother ready?
She'll be right out.
[Linda comes out skating her way down]
All set! See ya there, Candace! Okay, ladies, here I come! [She skates away] There I go! Ha ha! Sorry! Can't stop. FOLLOW MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE....
Step on it, Vivian, she's getting away! [They drive off]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Phineas and Ferb pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
