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6 SEASONS

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S3 E6Cruel and Unusual Punishments

KKosygin

At last count, I had murdered at least 49 men. You have the honor of being my 50th.

I was raised Episcopalian, which means we thought about God an hour once a week. But you, you think about Him all the time.

Yes.

Why?

I want to know Him.

Me too. I want to know God, and I want Him to know me. I want Him to know that I'm still here. That I'm still stuck in this place.

He knows.

You see,I am a piece of Shit.Worthless.As bad as They come.So to have someone love Me not matter how bad...There.You happy now I spilled My guts all over Your table?

Word on the street is, you're the most ruthless hitman in Little Odessa. That's gotta mean a lot because you Russian mafia guys are a bunch of crazy fucked-up mother fuckers so I got a job done and I need it done fast. (begins to drop money in his other hand, one bill at a time) Just tell me when to stop.

What's your name again?

NNat

Nat.

What's that? Short for Nathaniel?

NNat

(revealing he is a cross-dresser) Short for Natalie.

YKYuri Kosygin

Unlike you, in Russia I was not a criminal. I was an educator. After the Soviets fell, things got so bleak in Moscow I decided to leave, to come to America.

For a better life, right?

YKYuri Kosygin

Yes, for me and my wife. But we did not find a better life. I couldn't get employed teaching.

Must have been terrible.

YKYuri Kosygin

Then I got this job painting a house, the house of Leonid Rodzinsky.

He was in the Organizatsya.

YKYuri Kosygin

Yes. He treated me like shit, always making fun. Calling me "professor" and ordering me to clean his toilets. One day, he kicked me with his boot in front of my wife. I strangled him on the spot.

It's closing time?

YKYuri Kosygin

Yes.

All right, I'll go.

YKYuri Kosygin

Not till I finish my story.

Strange. All this time, you've barely said two words. Now you're a regular bottum.

YKYuri Kosygin

It takes me time to warm up to people. I feel very close to you. I was possessed by guilt for killing Rodzinsky but I got a reputation for being ruthless. The Organizatsya hired me to exterminate someone else. The second time was easy.

Yuri, please. I don't want to hear this.

YKYuri Kosygin

The third time, no problem at all.

Yuri, please.

YKYuri Kosygin

At last count, I murdered at least 49 people. You have the honor of being my 50th.

CHClaire Howell

You know what your problem is, Diane? You wanna be everybody's best pal.

And your problem? You wanna be everybody's worst nightmare.

CKChris Keller

You saw my ex, Bonnie? When I met her, she was all alone, very unhappy. So I knew it would be easy to get her to fall in love with me. But what I didn't know was after I broke her heart would she still love me? See, I'm a piece of shit. I am worthless. As bad as they come. And to have someone keep loving me, no matter how bad... [pause] You happy now? You got me to open up and spill my guts all over your table. Breakthrough.

S3 E7Secret Identities

'Know thyself.' That's what Socrates said, or Aristotle, or one of those dead white men. To know one's self; that may be the hardest thing any of us will ever do.

Clark Kent is the secret identity of Superman. I don't understand why Superman even needed a secret identity. I mean, if I'm invulnerable, all the chicks want me, why do I spend my time disguised as a four-eyed loser? The truth is: Superman's schizophrenic. His super-id is fucking with his super-ego. The man's conflicted, no doubt about it.

(Napa enters his cell to find Nat in an elegant evening gown)

NNat

Did I over dress?

Oh, Jesus. You know, you look a lot like my ex-wife.

NNat

Thanks.

That's not a compliment.

In his day, Antonio Napa was a great man. He was like a father to me. Well, more like an uncle.

The good citizens of Gotham City have got to be the dumbest fucks on the planet. They got Batman and Robin running around, saving them from the Joker, the Riddler and such. And at the same time they got Bruce Wayne and his ward Dick Grayson in the headlines every day. Batman and Robin, Bruce and Dick. You're telling me not one person put two and two together?

I know you're gonna think this is bullshit. But I feel very badly about my part in Andy's death. Losing a kid, there's nothing worse. And I want to make it up to you.

How? How can you ever make it up to me?

You have another son. You don't know where he is. Through my partners at my old law office, I could find him.

And that's supposed to even the score? Make everything okay?

It's a start.

Beecher, you're crazier than I thought. There's only one way things will ever be alright between us. You DEAD!

People are defined by three things: Their heads: how they think. Their hearts: what they feel. Their dicks: who they fuck. At the end of the day, each of us has to answer one question. One, not so simple question. Who am I?

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