MSMiles Seaver
No! You can't put a price on love!
[to Bull] He must be from out of town.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
I know you don't agree with me, but...
I agree with you.
I don't expect you to... You agree with me?
Sure. I probably would have done the same thing.
[muttering] They told me you were nuts.
Beg pardon?
I... if you agree with me, why am I in jail?
Call it a whim. I have this thing about upholding the law. Billie, what you did was noble, it really was, and as a person I can admire it.
But as a judge?
Cough up the cat.
Bull, you look depressed.
I am. My word of the month is so obscure I can't find an opportunity to use it in conversation.
What word is that?
"Pentimento."
[after a beat, turns to Dan] So how about that Jets game last night, huh?
Bull, what exactly does pentimento mean?
It's an artistic term, referring to the reappearance of original elements that had been obliterated by a new outer appearance.
You mean like that little brown shadow on top of your head that you affectionately refer to as hair?
Good example!
ACAl Craven
Knock knock!
You caught me at a bad time, Craven - I'm here.
ACAl Craven
Oh, that's funny, that's very good.
I'm surprised that scandal sheet you write for is still in business.
ACAl Craven
Are you kidding? Misery is a moneymaker! [laughs] Hey, did you read my story last week? "Family In Hackensack Barbecues Brother!"
I don't read the Food section.
ACAl Craven
Aw, come on, Your Honor, there must be a story. Little sex, little violence, that's all I'm looking for!
Bad timing, Craven. Nothing bloodcurdling on the docket tonight.
ACAl Craven
Ah, what a world. I mean, people have knives. Why don't they use them?
RKRalph Kremsky
Do not take His name in vain, and do not lay down with beasts.
We only had drinks!
Mr. Hubbell was on his way to a seminar on subway hospitality, when he was mugged outside of City Hall.
AHArthur Hubble
They took everything. My wallet, my keys, my cash...
And after pleading with several passer-bys for bus fare, Mr. Hubbell attempted to panhandle from a group of Japanese tourists. They turned him down.
And?
He mugged them. Your Honor, the state wishes to submit evidence. We have affidavits from the victims, some shredded yen, and over seventy action-packed photographs of the incident.
JMJudge Martin A. Landis
Judge Stone, will you be represented by counsel?
I will be representing myself, Your Honor.
JMJudge Martin A. Landis
"He who represents himself has a fool for a client." Who said that?
JRJudge Robert Willard
Oliver Wendell Holmes.
JMJudge Martin A. Landis
Who cares?
JMJudge Martin A. Landis
You a Shriner, Stone?
No, I picked that up at the Goodwill in the Village.
JMJudge Martin A. Landis
That's where I got my Captain Video helmet!
You got a Captain Video helmet?
JMJudge Martin A. Landis
You didn't invent whimsy, you know. I'm not senile, Stone, I've been like this for fifty years. So even if I do become senile, people will never know. Come to think of it, I won't know either, will I?
Listen, Judge Landis...
JMJudge Martin A. Landis
Shut up, I'm old, I can talk as long as I want.
Objection!
Overruled.
Exception!
Noted.
Frustration!
Vented.
Come on, guys. No reason not to try something just because it's new, right? Oh, I can't believe what chickens you guys are. Come on, food is not just something to eat, it's something to... [snaps fingers] celebrate!
[hands him a fork] Have a ball.
DDoctor
This doesn't sound like a simple case of indigestion to me. In my opinion, you should see a doctor right away.
[confused] Well, you're a doctor, aren't you?
DDoctor
Gynecologist. [Dan bursts out laughing.] Come on, you people are lucky I happened to be eating in that place.
Well, I appreciate the help, Doc, but you're a little out of your league, aren't you?
Let's just say his league has a lower strike zone. [laughs] I'm sorry, it was so easy.
DDoctor
How often do you get these pains, Judge?
Oh, every now and then.
DDoctor
Once a week, once a day...?
You ought to let him know when they're five minutes apart, Harry. [laughs] This is a once in a lifetime opportunity!
We of the warm-blooded variety feel an adjournment is in order.
You mean shut down?
[Dan nods; Harry looks at Mac, who also nods]
Nah!
You've got about seventeen layers of clothes on under that robe, haven't you, sir?
It's good to be the king.
It seems as though that Mr. Sleighbough tried to take advantage of his "condition" by robbing a fifth story Park Avenue apartment in the middle of the afternoon.
SSleighbough
Yeah, it's perfect for me! See, I can slip in and out, completely unnoticed.
Except for the several hundred people who saw you inching along the ledge.
SSleighbough
Ah, that was probably a fluke. See, they probably used some kind of heat-sensing device.
Yes. It's called sunlight.
Mr. Sleighbough, when did you first discover you had this talent to become invisible?
SSleighbough
Well, it came on sort of gradual. See, at first, I was just boring, but then I became inconspicuous.
Oh.
SSleighbough
Yeah, you know, like I'd be waiting in a doctor's office or restaurant or a barber shop. You know, whatever, and finally they'd say, "oh, I didn't see you there." That's when it first began to take hold.
And now?
SSleighbough
I'm fully invisible! Yeah, I can be standing on the corner, yelling and waving my arms, cabbies, they go right by, never even notice me!
In New York City, imagine that.
[Billie brings Harry back to her apartment for a nightcap.]
GMrs. Grinsky
Who's that, dear?
GMr. Grinsky
Oh, it's just the lawyer and her man of the week.
(fakes a laugh) "Man of the week." Is he a card or what?
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