Dave, you know I think the world of you, but you can't deal with Johnny Johnson by yourself. He eats the hearts of guys like you for breakfast.
Sir, I'm serious.
So am I. Have you ever been to a restaurant in Kuala Lumpur?
S5 E6Jail
[Johnny has the green duffel bag that could send Mr. James to prison for the D.B. Cooper robbery]
That's... quite the green duffel bag you got there.
Thanks. I found it in some of Mr. James' belongings.
Where?
Landfill in Mongolia.
S5 E7The Lam
I'm a hollow man, Dave. I'm a cheap chocolate Easter Bunny.
I don't want to be a pawn in a corporate game.
Why not? It's fun.
S5 E8Clash of the Titans
Johnny, Mr. James might be going to prison. Why are we celebrating?
Care to take this one, Dave?
Johnny wants Jimmy in jail. It is all part of his evil plan. You know, the evil plan I've been warning you about.
Bingo.
While you were on the lam, your board of directors elected me CEO.
That's impossible. My board of directors would never do that. [Johnny gives him a folder; Mr. James looks inside] Of course, I didn't think my board would have naked hot tub orgies. So you blackmailed them, did you?
No, I bribed them. I gave a naked hot tub orgy.
S5 E9Boston
[Beth has bandages on her hands]
What's wrong with your hands?
I have carpal tunnel syndrome.
Oh, yeah. People get that from typing all day.
Yeah, I know.
How did you get it?
No idea.
Mr. James, do you have any advice for the young ones?
Always use a condom, and if you're too embarrased to ask, just shoplift them. It's easy!
S5 E10Spooky Rapping Crypt
[about Beth] This is serious, Dave. She's out there all alone, prey to all the wolves that haunt the mean streets of New York City.
Sir, Beth is one of the wolves that haunt the mean streets of New York City.
I speak for the whole staff.
Max, does Beth speak for you?
No.
Then why are you helping her?
Because she's a pretty girl with red hair.
S5 E11Stinkbutt
Aren't you wondering why I came in through the window?
Right now, my curiosity is taking a back seat to my sanity these days.
Is Matthew still out there?
Yes. Is there a problem?
Matthew's out there.
Well, that's a problem we all have to face on a daily basis.
S5 E12Apartment
James James, the man so nice they named him twice.
It's gonna be tough to decide between you two.
Well, I have a solution that avoids the problem all together.
Oh, you do?
I have decided to vote.
That's great, Max.
...for myself. I want this apartment - and I shall have it!
S5 E13Towers
You know who Guggenheim was?
Yes, Guggenheim was a financier and a philanthropist.
Wrong. He was some guy who built an ugly museum, named it after himself. But, when people see it they go "Hey, Guggenheim." What about me? What about Jimmy James, huh? He's just nothin'. A big, fat nothin'.
Sir, you are hardly nothing.
Well, you're right. M-maybe I'm not nothin'.
Of course you're not nothing.
I'm Jimmy James!
That's right!
Jimmy James!
The one and only Jimmy James!
Yeah, the guy who's gonna blow up the Guggenheim!
No, sir, no!
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