Never Mind the Buzzcocks · Season 20
Fyfe, Fyfe, do you find it difficult to perform without office equipment?
Yes.
Do you want a hole punch?
Yes.
[He begins squeezing it]
Hang on, sorry I didn't think that through...sorry, a silent hole punch. How about a desk tidy?
Nah, nah.
PostIt notes?
Right... [He storms off the set]
Oh, no.
[Laughter. Fyfe comes back]
Lucky I didn't get to the lever arch file!
[After failing to guess a song]
Anne, what about this one?
[He plays the Neighbours theme song]
Right, that's it!
[She moves to stand up]
No, no, no, no!
[After a particularly bad joke]
If you'd like to write jokes for the show, all you need is a crayon.
Can we get the Paris Hilton look-alike something to suck on so she looks more convincing?
I've never met anyone from the public before!
So yeah, so who, uh...not who...how many...not, not that either...uh...
You've fallen to bits since you lost Preston.
[Reading an intro] "Call me, call me anytime..."?
Your call may be recorded for staff training purposes.
[Simon gives Fyfe the lever arch file]
It's not the best comedy prop, really, is it?
Oh, I dunno, it's got two good laughs.
It's still here...
[Simon hugs Preston's fill-in]
Thank God for you!!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Never Mind the Buzzcocks pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
