NCIS · Season 2
Put someone in a wedding dress
Tony would look cute.
No. He's off interviewing the victim's parents.
Well, McGee then.
No, he's with Tony.
Abby.
No, up to her tats in forensic tests.
Well, what about you? [Gibbs looks at her] You won't have to wear the dress.
Do you know what bongos are? Well the beatnik is playing them in my head!
Tony, Kate, McGee. MTAC now!
(mutters) Tony, Kate, McGee? (louder) Tony, Kate, McGee!
(walking with Tony) Beatnik gone?
(nodding) Yeah!
Cool! (starts clicking her fingers rhythmically)
You find the perfect 50's woman and she almost kills you DiNozzo!
She was so obedient!
Yeah. It's scary how impressed you are by that!
[Watching Gibbs conduct an interrogation]
I think Gibbs enjoys this more than sex.
That would explain the three wives.
You know, most people tend to their personal hygiene at home.
(clipping his nails) What, this bothers you?
No, What bothers me is that it doesn't bother me anymore.
Get the truck.
Where we going, Boss?
Smoky Corners, West Virginia. Marine Helo was found abandoned, crews missing.
Any leads?
You tell me. It's sitting in the middle of a crop circle.
Abby's gonna make us crazy.
Come on, let's go!
Eww, Tony!
What?
You are getting way too comfortable around me. Okay, clipping your nails is one thing, but that, that is crossing the line.
Come on.
No, I'm serious.
(Tony shows the Bartender a picture of the DB.)
Such a sweet countenance.
Sweet countenance?
Yeah, that radiant look on her face.
She doesn't look radiant, she's dead.
In that picture?
Yeah, she's dead.
She's dead?
She's dead. Why do ya think her eyes are closed.
I thought she was meditating.
Nothing says welcome to manhood as perfectly as a skillful lapdance.
Unlike the living, when the dead speak, they do not lie.
Some man raped and murdered her!? [looks at Tony who has been hitting on her]
It wasn't me!
Hey Boss. Got statements from Seamen Jennings and Wilkins. Can I cut them loose? They've been at sea a long time.
Know where to find them?
Motel at Virginia Beach. Girlfriends are waiting.
Yeah. [Tony signals to the Seamen to leave]
[to Kate] Haven't been with their women in 6 months, 3 weeks and 18 hours. [shudders] Longest I went was 11 days, 6 hours.
I can't believe you actually know these things.
It's a gift.
[Gibbs enters Abby's lab to find McGee lying on the floor fixing the wiring in Abby's computer]
Special Agent Goodwrench?
[Gibbs gets off the phone and notices Kate standing in front of his desk grinning]
Gas pain?
[smile fades away] What? No!
Well, then stop grinning and tell me what you got
When he found the first Jane Doe while jogging, Petty Officer Goetz was in port on a carrier, the Teddy Roosevelt.
[looks through his case files] Agent Dawes interrogated him a number of times, on The Big Stick and here.
The Big Stick?
Teddy Roosevelt. "Talk softly, carry a big stick."
[realizes] Big stick! Cute. [continues] Goetz stayed in the Navy, is a Chief and arrived in Norfolk in the same carrier as the seamen who found our Jane Doe. The "Honest Abe"?
Shall not perish.
What?
Lincoln is not the "Honest Abe". It's "Shall Not Perish".
[bemused] What kind of nickname is "Shall Not Perish"?
[resumes his work] Ask Chief Goetz when you pull him in for questioning.
Ok. [goes back to her desk]
The Emancipator!
[Gibbs looks up at McGee]
That would be a good name for the Abraham Lincoln. [Gibbs looks at him] Since he signed the Emancipation Proclamation.... [Gibbs continues staring him down until McGee realizes and stops talking.]
You touch that, McGee, you'll be singing soprano!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's NCIS pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
