I want that terrorist on my table, Jethro.
S1 E17The Truth Is Out There
S1 E18UnSEALed
That's what I love about you, Gibbs, always one finger ahead.
Stained glass. That's very spiritual, Gibbs.
[As Tommy Lee Jones] Ladies and gentlemen. I want a hard-target search of every gas station, residence, warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse, doghouse and outhouse in the area. You got that? Good! Now turn off those cameras and get out of the way!
Accent's still not right.
Damn.
He could have gone to a vet.
Tony's marking that territory.
Ha-ha. Cute.
Houston. The cell phone has landed.
She sleeps with a gun under her pillow, boss.
That true?
Maybe... sometimes... yes.
Good girl!
You were a boy scout?
Cub.
Ha. What'd they kick you out for?
Tryin' to score brownie points.
You're enjoying this, aren't you?
Really a lot.
[catches McGee looking at him] What the hell are you doing?
Um..
Can you form a sentence, Agent McGee?
The NCIS investigator was Agent Clay Williamson, sir.
That's a good sentence.
(about the security guard's excuse for losing his card) He said his dog ate it!
(laughs) That didn't work for me in 6th grade!
(stares) Well, you're a late bloomer, Gibbs. It didn't work me in the 2nd!
That's why women aren't allowed in the SEALs!
Why? Because we think with the head on our shoulders?
(laughs at their argument) Whoa! (they all turn to stare) Remind you of anyone?
Kate and Tony (as Gibbs smiles) No!
(half-heartedly) Yeah, I didn't think so!
I want to be kept up-to-date with everything!
Certainly!
Afraid you sent an innocent man to prison?
Innocent or not. I still kicked your ass!
The defense lawyer told me to "shove it". The message was actually delivered by his assistant, but he's sure it was verbatim.
I want him here DiNozzo.
Boss he's no longer a JAG. He's a $400-an-hour Beltway lawyer. (pauses awkwardly) With really nice shoes!
DiNozzo, I don't care! I don't care if he's wearing Armani, Prada or Ermen-something-Zenga...get his ass here!
Ermenegildo Zegna, Boss. Just so you know!
[Tony brings in the defense lawyer in handcuffs who is arguing with him and being uncooperative]
I'm gonna own your house Agent DiNozzo!
[sarcastically] I rent.
[loudly] You know what the federal minimums are for aggravated assault on the cover of authority, kidnapping, false imprisonment...?!
[leads him to Gibbs' desk] Well, ya know. I don't, but I'm sure my boss Special Agent Jethro Gibbs does.
[smirks] Very subtle DiNozzo.
[smiles at the defense lawyer] Shooting him just seems so ham-fisted.
[deadpan] Whatever it takes.
Uncuff him, DiNozzo, so he can say hi to an old friend!
I prefer him in cuffs!
I wish I'd known that when we were at JAG!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's NCIS pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.