[Juan the parrot escapes from Abby's lab and flies across the squad room.]
Wow. Juan flew over the cuckoo's nest.
S14 E3Privileged Information
S14 E4Love Boat
[After interviewing a celebrity on board the aircraft carrier]
You get more than fashion tips?
Yeah. Claustrophobia.
[Bishop enters the squadroom and is surprised to see Torres at McGee's desk, typing.]
Hey, would you ask Superman to do your taxes?
Um..
Or LeBron James to babysit your kid? Would you do that?
Yeah, I bet he's good with kids.
You do understand my point, right?
No. Does it have something to do with why you're using McGee's computer?
Yeah. He asked me to input the names from the ship's manifest into the system. So if anything pops up, then we get an alert.
Oh. That's a good idea.
Yeah, it's a fantastic idea, except it's a mis-usage of my superpowers.
Which are...?
Kicking down doors, breaking through windows. The tango.
S14 E6Shell Game
[about his email account issues] It's like it disappeared into the Bermuda Triangle of electronic transmissions.
McGee, just turn it off and on; that's what I do.
[sees Quinn looking around the front flowerbed] So you're what-- gardening?
Nope. There's always a spare key. And it's never under the mat anymore, but it is here. I call it front-stoop fishing.
S14 E7Home of the Brave
My mother always told me, never to take this country for granted. She said that home is a privilege. That's how I thought of it. That's how I still think of it.
Hey, Marine. Semper Fi.
Semper Fi.
S14 E17What Lies Above
(to a suspect nursing a gunshot wound) I know it was dark, but I'm pretty sure we met last night.
(while McGee talks with Delilah on the phone, and Torres coaches him with hand signals; all whispering)
What are you doing?
Delilah shouldn't know.
What?
They've been sleeping on a grave!
Yeah, and not just sleeping, that part we got. But what happened to, "you can't be lying, bro"?
Well, this he can lie about.
Hypocrisy much?
No, it's not hypocrisy. This is different.
It's so not different.
Yes, it is different. He knew about a triple homicide before he moved in. This, he didn't know about.
And now that he knows, why shouldn't Delilah know?
(finally letting out how freaked he is) Hell, nobody should know! I wish I didn't know!
S14 E22Beastmaster
LALiberian Ambassador Gabriel Moore
We are a nation of survivors. Slavery, civil wars. We strive for progress, but many are still poor, and cattle production is difficult and costly. Bushmeat has been a way of life for generations.
Which is why it can wipe out animal populations.
GMGabriel Moore
It is unsustainable, and a health risk. My government desperately tries to teach this to the public, but food is also a cultural touchstone. It is used for celebrations, weddings, christenings...
One more reason it's smuggled into our country. Old habits die hard.
[Moore looks at him quizzically.]
Sorry, that's another turn of phrase. It's difficult to change minds.
GMGabriel Moore
Even more so to change hearts.
GMGabriel Moore
Congratulations, Director.
The two smugglers gave up their airport contacts pretty fast.
GMGabriel Moore
Be assured my government is following up in Liberia. This will not end here.
The ball's in your court now.
GMGabriel Moore
That idiom I know.
S14 E23Something Blue
(emerges from the fitting room in his tuxedo) Yeah, baby! That's what I'm talking about! Please, no pictures... nah, go for it. (twirls)
Woof. (realizes) Was that out loud?
Mmm-hmm.
Mmm.
Director Vance. You know, pre-wedding tension.
As someone who was also married to a strong, intelligent woman, may I give you some advice, Agent McGee?
Don't blow it?
(solemnly) No: never take it for granted. Not for one second. (smiles) And don't blow it.
S15 E9Ready or Not
(McGee takes a call from Abby, who is driving Delilah to hospital after she went into labour.)
Abby, can I call you back?
No, you can't. I mean, everything's fine and there's no reason to panic.
Then why do you sound panicky?
My water broke, Tim!
Delilah?
I-I just, I went over to your place for breakfast and it just happened.
Uh, uh, are-are you okay? Is she okay?
I'm okay!
She's okay. She's-she's just, she's breathing really hard.
How did this happen? I mean, you're not due for another three weeks.
Well, apparently, the babies had other plans, darling.
Just meet us at the hospital!
Wait. Wait, Abbs.
S15 E11High Tide
[after posing as a call girl and her jealous boyfriend]
Any problems?
Well, apart from Bishop almost blowing up our cover, no, we're pretty good.
Excuse me?
You shouldn't have slapped his hand away.
I don't give out free samples! I got three kids to feed and a sick Nana in Boca. [off Torres's look] What? You told me to have a back story, that's my back story.
No, that's actually... that's actually pretty good.
Thank you.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's NCIS pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.