Dare I ask what we did to deserve this, Hetty?
Rest assured, Mr. Callen, I never give gifts unless they perfectly suit the recipients.
And perfection struck four times today?
...Happy Holidays everyone!
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
(about her ex-fiance) He said life over there was like falling through the sky. Constant rush of adrenaline. Everything felt vivid and real... And coming home to me - coming home to me felt like hitting the ground. And I did - I did everything I could. (Kensi starts sobbing) Oh my... I worked with a psychiatrist. I helped with his meds and I listened. I always listened - always. It was Christmas morning, I woke up and he was gone.
FNFormer Navy Lieutenant Lance Talbot
Where did he go?
(Kensi shakes her head)
(from observation) She's - she's playing him. She's trying to get him to open up, right?
(Callen and Sam exchange looks)
Kensi, I know what you're going through. I've been there.
I watched Jack...slip away. Maybe I didn't try hard enough.
I don't believe that for one minute. I know what it's like to have someone I care about come back from deployment a different person.
After all that Talbot's been through, I'm going to do everything in my power to help him!
Kensi, Talbot's not Jack.
FNFormer Navy Lieutenant Lance Talbot
So what do we do now?
We'll, uh, we do what most families do on Christmas Eve.
Watch Uncle Bob get drunk and pee in a toaster?
I'm going for cryogenic suspension.
Ah.
Mm-hmm. Frozen in a suspended state of animation and then thawed out when they have medical technology to bring me back.
Can we keep you in the office? Ooo. With a little viewing window like an aquarium. That would be so cool.
You mock me now. Twenty years from now when I come back, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to marry your daughter.
KDKensi and Deeks
Oh!
That is awkward.
That is creepy.
The report says it's a home invasion gone bad. Yousef Afzal was killed by blunt force trauma to the head, he was hit, he fell, and then died.
And then half autopsied.
And then stolen.
That's a bad day, even for a dead guy.
So why do you steal a dead body?
Proof of death.
Satanic ritual.
Cannibalism.
[Kensi, Callen and Sam look at him]
I was just thinking outside the box.
You need to get back in the box.
Move it, Mr. Callen.
I've got more body mass to move than you.
You've got a lot more excuses too.
Can you shut down his server?
His server, his cell service, his electricity. You name it.
Can you get me free cable?
[Everyone stares at Deeks]
No, because that would be piracy.
I just got off the phone with Director Vance. He's on his way to brief Sec Nav. Who in turn has an appointment with the President. You know what that means, don't you?
Heads are going to roll.
It's that other end of one's anatomy I'm worried about. The ass chewing gets worse on the way back down the ladder.
What does that mean? You're next?
No. Because you're going to resolve this before that happens.
I will do my best to protect your ass... sets.
FFrisbee
You're making a big mistake.
That's actually my line.
FFrisbee
You prepared to shoot three FBI Agents in broad daylight?... [Starts to go for his ID] May I?
Left hand.
[Frisbee realizes he doesn't have his wallet. Callen pulls out Landon's ID]
You looking for this?
Oh buddy that badge better be real, or my partner's gonna kick you in the FBI balls.
DDuane
Is that what you call surveillance?
Uh, we sure as hell surveilled your FBI asses.
CCarla
You're interfering with a federal investigation.
Uh, our investigation, actually.
FFrisbee
We've been working this case for months.
And it's clearly time for us to take over.
You wouldn't have even known there was a leak if Naval Intelligence hadn't discovered it.
CCarla
Isn't that an oxymoron?
No. But there is a moron in all this - several, in fact.
Oh, snap. What? Point: Kensi. FBI serves.
FFrisbee
You've overstepped your jurisdiction. We're the senior agency here.
Good point. But... it's best to be sure about a thing like that. I'll get Hetty in on this. [speed-dials cell phone] Hetty, this is Callen. We got a situation.
CCarla
Hetty? As in Henrietta Lange?
You know her?
FFrisbee
We've heard stories.
DDuane
Sounds like a whole lot of urban legend if you ask me.
Au contrare, mon frer. She's real. And you do not want that little chupacabra surveilling your asses.
[hands his phone to Frisbee] She wants to talk to you.
[Deeks chuckles]
FFrisbee
This is Agent Frisbee.
[whispering] Landon Archibald Frisbee, born in Hackensack, New Jersey.
Agent Landon Archibald Frisbee from Hackensack?
FFrisbee
Yes.
His wife's name's Darlene.
How's your wife, Darlene?
FFrisbee
She's fine.
[whispering] Lots of late-night phone calls to this woman... Uh, Heather Teasdale. She's a recent divorcée, works in the same federal building.
How's Heather?
FFrisbee
[clears throat] Heather?
Teasdale. Oh, no. Oh, was that a secret? I'm so sorry. I think we can both agree, Agent Frisbee, that this is a matter of national security.
FFrisbee
It's "Freeze-be."
I would hate to have to call Bobby and complain to him about your reluctance to collaborate with us on such a serious matter.
FFrisbee
Bobby?
Your director!
FFrisbee
[clears throat] I don't, um... Think that'll be necessary.
Oh, I'm so glad to hear that. Have a wonderful day... Agent Frisbee.
FFrisbee
It's Freeze... [Hetty hangs up] [phone beeps]
[Kensi is eating her breakfast] You want to talk about it?
No.
We're - we're here to listen.
No, I'm fine.
Let her eat her feelings in peace.
You should've told me.
That's precisely why I didn't.
Moe isn't trained for this. He shouldn't be in there alone.
He isn't in there alone. You underestimate me, Mr. Hanna. One of our best people is in there with him. Uh, Eric, ISP number 579.72.351.462. Access camera 7.
Okay.
I'm sorry where is this?
Oakville Federal Prison.
I'm sure Nate is more than capable of this.
Hi, Nate.
Hi, Nell.
You two know each other?
We go back a few years.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's NCIS: Los Angeles pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.