Nell Jones quotes from NCIS: Los Angeles

Kensi

Hey, Nell, whatever happened to that file I asked you for? The one on the aryan low rider that Deeks shot at the park.

Nell

Oh right, um, I'm sorry I guess I forgot.

Kensi

You never forget anything, Nell.

Nell

Um, yeah. I told them this wouldn't work.

Eric

Okay, so right after you guys left Monica Lee's office, she called a pay phone located two blocks away from the LAPD Precinct. I'm seeing a dozen other incoming calls to her PDA over the past few days, all from pay phones within walking distance of the same area.

Callen

So the mole's definitely a cop or someone who works closely with them.

Sam

And he's making life way too easy for Fisk. If we don't find him, that RDX is as good as gone.

Kensi

[Entering Ops] You kept me in the dark!

Callen

Please tell me you didn't waterboard Nell.

Kensi

The guy Deeks killed this morning, he isn't dead. He's an undercover NCIS agent working out of D.C. , who, in fact, just landed in Dulles Airport alive and well. You stuck fake tattoos on him and made me believe that my partner shot an unarmed man. Why would you do that?

Sam

Had to be convincing for LAPD and Bates or else they never would have taken Deeks back.

Nell

Sorry guys.

Callen

The woman Deeks rescued is also one of ours.

Sam

The whole thing is a setup.

Kensi

That is why you stationed me and Deeks so far away from Fisk and the Aryans. The op this morning wasn't about them. It was about your ruse. I knew something was off. I knew it!

Callen

We suspected Fisk had a mole. It was a ploy to force Bates to cut ties and take Deeks back from us.

Kensi

Do you guys have any idea what I've been through today?

Sam

It was Hetty's call, Kensi.

Nell

Ugh. It's my mom again. She's wondering why everyone's home but me.

Eric

What do you tell them?

Nell

Working. I'm a TV News Editor. What about you?

Eric

Professional Blackjack Player.

Nell

Really?

Eric

True until I got banned from Vegas.

Eric

Did I just meet your parents?

Nell

Guess so.

Eric

What have they heard about me?

Nell

Well,

Nell

Ooo, you got a hit. Better call Sam.

Nell

You get a hit on the SUV?

Eric

Kaliedescope's got nothing. You'd think that a car with front end damage and bullet holes in the windshield would make this easier.

Nell

This is L.A...

Nell

Our friend Chaucer has led a big life. He's descended from a long line of award-winning poodles.

Kensi

Chaucer was flown to Paris twice, to breed.

Deeks

He was paid to have sex in Paris? I should have been born a dog. (Kensi stares at him) I walked into that one, didn't I?

Nell

Somebody is out there trying to kill her.

Eric

I know, we've got to stay cool. This is Hetty, right? She's always three steps ahead of everyone. She's tactically brilliant, ridiculously courageous, experienced, resourceful. I mean, if Mata Hari and Genghis Khan had a daughter, it'd be Hetty.

Nell

Or General Patton and Joan of Arc.

Eric

Exactly. Her kung fu is strong, and her magic is powerful. Say it.

Nell

Her kung fu is strong, and her magic is powerful.

Eric

Don't underestimate Hetty. She never underestimates us.

Nell

Can I ask you guys a question?

Callen

Go ahead.

Nell

Um, when do you stop being afraid of you know, busting into places, guns blazing?

Callen

When you trust your training.

Nell

That's easier said than done.

Nell

Uh, sorry that took so long. I was stuck behind an old man on a scooter for the past six blocks.

Callen

I'm sure he appreciated your patience.

Nell

Well, he flipped me off before I finally passed him.

Callen

He was probably just waving.

Nell

He called me a ginger bitch.

Callen

Yeah, I got nothing for that.

Hetty

And you two can go interview the senator.

Deeks

The two of... You mean the two of me?

Hetty

I want you and Nell to see the senator, find out if he knows anything about these Chinese PLA threats.

Deeks

Me and... Nellosaurus?

Hetty

Yes, I move fast, Mr. Deeks. Gotta keep up.

Nell

Let's go, Shaggy.

Deeks

Well played. I'm with you, Velma.

Eric

Photojournalist by day superhero by night.

Nell

Okay, Clark. I think we're gonna have to come up with something a little more believable than that.

Eric

Okay, like what?

Nell

Well it has to make sense that you'd be coming home with me.

Eric

Right.

Nell

Like, a boyfriend.

Eric

Aah!

Deeks

[In the boathouse, watching Callen interview a suspect] Wow, well played, Callen. Well played. You got 'im wrapped around your pinky. Not that it isn't something I haven't done a thousand times. Except for, of course, I did it in a courtroom with a ton of people. The judge [Holds up his hands as if he's staring through the scope on rifle] staring me down. The jury, sizing me up, sayin' what you got, public defender? What. You. Got?

Eric

[On the monitor] Uh... Deeks?

Deeks

Huh?

Eric

You, you know that I can hear you... right?

Deeks

Yeah. No, no. Yeah, I know- definitely know that you can- I mean I knew that you were there... if that's what you're asking.

Nell

[Moves on screen] Good, because I'm here, too.

Deeks

Oh. Nell. [laughing self-consciously] Hi.

Nell

'S up?

Granger

[Moves on screen] Detective.

Deeks

Oohph. Granger. Of course, Granger is there. It's like the whole Opsapalooze. What's going on, guys? What can I do you for?

Granger

Question. Do you crumble graham crackers into your S'mores-cakes?