Hetty Lange quotes from NCIS: Los Angeles

Kensi

Just once, I would love to get dressed up to go out and not have to chase a suspect or get shot at.

Sam

Where's the fun in that?

Hetty

Another wardrobe malfunction, Miss Blye?

Kensi

I'm sorry, Hetty.

Hetty

A small price to pay for a successful assignment. (hands Kensi a towel)

Kensi

Thank you.

Deeks

[shoots a cardboard Hetty Target on the range] Uh... Oops.

Hetty

Cheeky bastard.

Eric

Black Ops, Call of Duty - I've wiped out entire platoons in an afternoon. World of Warcraft - God knows how many.

Hetty

Mr. Beale?

Eric

...I don't have to bring a gun, do I? I don't think I could actually really kill someone.

Hetty

Heaven forbid. I have no intention of making you carry a weapon.

Hetty

Relax, Mr. Beale. This isn't rocket science after all... Well, actually, in this case, I guess it is.

Hetty

You'll do fine. Nell will be listening in on you at all times.

Eric

"At all times?" What if I have to use the restroom? I have a shy bladder.

Hetty

So this is the infamous Max Gentry.

Deeks

This is an alias I did not miss.

Hetty

As I recall, his reputation was less than stellar.

Deeks

I've known Ray since I was 10 years old. I used our friendship to keep him in the line of fire as an informant. The only reason he risked himself is because he trusted me.

Hetty

And yet, he didn't tell you about his change in travel plans.

Deeks

Doesn't matter. Somebody's gotta look out for him.

Deeks

I was 11 years old, my dad was... one drink away from killing my mom and me.

Hetty

Until you shot him in self-defense.

Deeks

.38 revolver that I used - Ray's the one that gave it to me.

Hetty

You know, some might say you've paid that debt. Rather than send him to jail, you took him under your wing.

Deeks

Let's be honest, I turned my best friend into a snitch for $100/week. If he gets himself killed, it's on me.

Deeks

Thank you for letting Ray take Jenna with him.

Hetty

No one should live out his life alone - including you.

Deeks

What are you talking about? I got you. I'll be fine.

Hetty

You know, it's been a *very* long time since I have heard you laugh, Sam. Hell, life itself can be absurd. But you have to embrace that. If you can't smile now, how can you possibly laugh in the face of death?

Sam

Hetty, why are you telling me this?

Hetty

As a sailor, Sam, you know the importance of a solid anchor. You have your faith, your family, your sense of humor. Mr. Callen doesn't think he needs anyone. He does. He need* you. You're his anchor. And I sense there's a storm coming.

Sam

Hetty, you're a lot of things, but psychic isn't one of them. You want to level with me?

Hetty

I just did.

Kensi

[Hetty gives Kensi a gift] Oh, that is the coolest thing I've ever seen.

Hetty

I figured you'd like it. Like you it's both feminine and deadly. Therein lies its true value.

Kensi

You think I'm feminine and deadly?

Hetty

Among many things. It's what makes you so good at this job. The true challenge is knowing when to stop.

Kensi

What do you mean?

Hetty

The job. The importance of what we do, the excitement of doing it. It makes it very difficult to give up. When the day comes for you to hang up your gun...

Kensi

Oh?

Hetty

And it will. You're going to want to come home to something more than a collection of antique weapons.

Kensi

Unfortunately, most of the guys that I meet... are trying to shoot me.

Hetty

Not to worry. Sometimes you find them, sometimes they find you. You just have to keep your eyes open.

Callen

You avoiding me?

Hetty

If I wanted to avoid you, Mr. Callen, you wouldn't find me.

Hetty

Being in charge sucks, Mr. Callen. Everyone looks to you for guidance and answers - even when you have none to give.

Callen

Well, I've never known you to ever be at a loss for words.

Hetty

The true test of a commander is when he is as frightened and confused as those who look up to him. In that moment, when you can't find it in yourself, you will find it in them. That's leadership.

Kensi

Have we heard any news on Hetty's condition?

Sam

According to Nell, Hetty's still keeping an eye on things.

Callen

Big Brother is watching.

Deeks

Or in Hetty's case - Little Mother.

Deeks

What? You guys have been doing this too long. You're getting paranoid.

Hetty

[From Deeks's computer] A healthy dose of paranoia can keep you alive in this business, detective.

Deeks

[yells out startled and slams the computer shut] Whoa! Did you just see that?

Sam

I saw you slam Hetty's face shut.

Hetty

You asked me why I went off on my own to face the Comescus. I did it... because of your mother.

Callen

You knew my mom?

Hetty

Sit down. I'll tell you everything I know.

Callen

Why now?

Hetty

Because you're safe from the Comescus now. And because I can't hold on to these secrets any longer. Please Mr. Callen.

Hetty

Where do I begin?

Callen

What was her name?

Hetty

Clara... Her name was Clara.

Hetty

Where's Sam?

Callen

He went home to spend time with his family.

Hetty

Ah, that's good. He needs that... especially now.

Callen

[Long pause] What about you? You ever regrett not settling down - and having a family?

Hetty

I think about it sometimes. Maybe when I'm older. [chuckles] And you?

Callen

I think I'll keep looking for mine first. Good night, Hetty.

Hetty

Good night, Mr. Callen... Good night, Walter.

Hetty

The waltz was revolutionary in the late 18th century because it was the first time couples faced each other when they danced. It was a scandalous display of public intimacy.

Deeks

Public intimacy-- I like it.

One, two, three. One, two, three.

Kensi

He's stepping on me.

Deeks

That's not true. You just keep putting your feet underneath mine when I lift them.

Kensi

You know where I'm gonna put my foot?

Hetty

I would love to teach the two of you the traditional Viennese Waltz with each other as partners.

Sam

[chuckles] She's kidding.

Callen

...No, she's not.

Hetty

Agent Hanna, take your partner by the waist - back straight. Do I need to repeat myself.