G. Callen quotes from NCIS: Los Angeles

Kensi

Callen, who' Deeks' next of kin?

Callen

That's a good question.

Sam

[about Deeks] The guy gets shot because he doesn't alter his daily routine. I wanted to make sure he got the memo on personal security. Being this is his first day back and all.

Callen

And?

Sam

Got tired of waiting for him to leave home. I guess he slept through his alarm clock.

Kensi

Better call him then.

Sam

...That's my bag.

Sam

What the -?

Deeks

[enters and takes the phone from Sam] That'd be for me.

Callen

[after Deeks puts his cellphone in Sam's bag] Who did you pay and how much?

Deeks

School kid. 20 bucks.

Sam

This isn't the way home.

Callen

Nope. Promised Hetty I'd get her a futah. Bright colors.

Sam

Better get her two.

Sam

Nice gangster walk.

Callen

Feels like I was thrown out of a moving car.

Sam

You were thrown out of a moving car... several times.

Callen

Well not recently... was I?

Kensi

Emily's hanging in there. An Amber Alert was sent out. It's all over the local news, freeway signs, and Internet.

Callen

Nice going.

Kensi

Yeah. But it wasn't us. 9-1-1 got three calls in four minutes.

Callen

Four minutes?

Kensi

Including two accurate license plate numbers and a lady ID'd the van a block away. She'd gotten a text from a friend.

Callen

Huh? Nice neighbors.

Callen

If I ever go off the reservation, you have my permission to take me out.

Sam

Well, how far off? I mean, you've pushed it pretty far, and I haven't killed you yet.

Callen

All the way. You know, go rogue.

Sam

You? Never gonna happen. I've never seen anybody see more sides of the coin than you. If anybody's gonna snap, it's me.

Callen

You? Textbook SEAL. And blood pressure's undetectable. Do you even have a blood pressure? Something gets to you, you take it out on the heavy bag. You're lucky like that. If anybody's gonna snap...

Kensi.

Callen

Good luck, Deeks.

Sam

No offense, but survival kits are for urban sissies who don't know how to make a floatation device out of a pair of pants.

Callen

Or how to extract the venom out of a horned viper using only a twig and a shoelace.

Deeks

Or how to make a latte without soy milk.

Kensi

[about an earthquake] Crack of dawn. Shook me right out of bed. You guys didn't feel it?

Callen

I was on a run.

Sam

Deep sleeper.

Deeks

You forget I'm from Californ-I-A. We don't get out of bed for anything less than a 6.

Callen

You're always trying to milk it.

Sam

Is it truffle season yet?

Callen

Okay, a couple ground rules though: No weird expensive fungi. No eggs that don't come from a chicken. No scotch that's older than you or me.

Sam

I can still order a Seafood Tower.

Callen

Great.

Callen

Anything useful on Drewett's cellphone?

Nell

Uh, it froze and melted.

Deeks

So it... frelted?

Callen

Spell that.

Sam

Mr. Holt?

Yes?

Sam

Agents Hanna... Callen. NCIS.

I'm sorry. Did we - um - did we have an appointment?

Sam

No, but here we are.

Well, can this wait? These gentlemen have come a long way, and we're on a strict schedule.

Callen

Pretty business as usual considering your partner was just killed.

Nell

Ray couldn't testify against the Southland Kings even if he wanted to. He doesn't have the intel - unless...

Callen

Nelson Sanders told them that Ray did.

Nell

Uh huh.

Callen

That's not bad.

Sam

Maybe we need to get her away from her desk more often.

Eric

I heard that Rock Star.

Callen

You avoiding me?

Hetty

If I wanted to avoid you, Mr. Callen, you wouldn't find me.

Hetty

Being in charge sucks, Mr. Callen. Everyone looks to you for guidance and answers - even when you have none to give.

Callen

Well, I've never known you to ever be at a loss for words.

Hetty

The true test of a commander is when he is as frightened and confused as those who look up to him. In that moment, when you can't find it in yourself, you will find it in them. That's leadership.