G. Callen quotes from NCIS: Los Angeles

Callen

What the hell's this?

Sam

I went to Costco, picked up some veggie burgers. A whole case. Some people enjoy a healthy alternative.

Callen

Really?

Sam

Absolutely.

Callen

You do realize you're in Tijuana, not Malibu, right? Good luck with that.

Sam

What the hell are you doing?

Callen

Cooks faster this way.

Sam

You're destroying the meat.

Callen

Hey, it says fast food on our truck, all right?

Sam

Yeah, but you're squeezing all the juice out. The juice equals the flavor. Move out of the way. I'll man the grill, G. Now it's gonna taste like leather.

Callen

Hey, be my guest, George Foreman, all right?

Sam

Come on! Keep it up, I'll deep fry your taquitos.

Sam

What's the situation?

Callen

It's bad.

Sam

When you say bad––

Callen

Very bad.

Sam

Getting shot is very bad. Your cooking is very bad. Granger after two drinks is very bad. I need you to be more specific, G.

Callen

You remember the time we fought Thapa?

Sam

Oh, angry Gurkha rates very, very bad on the Hanna scale of bad people, places and things.

Callen

We got six of them coming our way.

Callen

We both love beer. Can we agree that we both love beer?

Sam

We can agree that if you offer me a beer, I'll drink it. But, I'm more of a champagne guy.

Callen

Champagne over beer?

Sam

Dom Perignon Rose? Best bubbles in the world, baby.

Callen

What about basketball?

Sam

You know I'm more of a football man.

Callen

Pancakes.

Sam

Waffles.

Callen

JFK.

Sam

The movie or the airport?

Deeks

So... Joelle’s good?

Callen

She’s good. (pause) She’s great

Deeks

Great. Great. great, great.

Callen

How’s Kensi?

Deeks

Uh? Kensi? She ... you know, she’s good. I don't know why you’re asking me, I mean you work with her, you know she’s ... she’s good right? Because, I don’t know ... why would I ...?

Callen

(chuckles)

Deeks

What? (pause) You know, don’t you?

Callen

Of course I know.

Deeks

Who else knows?

Callen

Well, let’s see. Sam, Nell, Hetty, of course, Eric, took a little while but he finally got there, the guys at the motor pool... Pretty much everyone at this point.

Deeks

What about Granger?

Callen

Granger I’m not so sure about. He’s definitely mellowed since his poisoning but he could just be buying his time, waiting for the right moment to crush you both.

Deeks

Wow, that is ... awesome.

Callen

Uh huh! Don’t pretend like you didn’t know the risks.

Deeks

I’m just wondering if this partner shuffle has something to do with us.

Callen

That is a question only Hetty can answer.

Sam

Lots of people are in love with the idea of having kids, but most have no idea what they're getting into.

Callen

Did you and Michelle?

Sam

I mean, we thought we did. Read books, we took classes

Callen

That help?

Sam

Hell, no.