“Monster A Go-Go” quotes from Mystery Science Theater 3000

[makes a fart noise] What? Oh. Uh... Pull the helmet off! Pull it off me!

There is one terrifying word in the world of nuclear physics...

Servo

"Oops".

..."radiation".

Servo

Oh.

As if a switch had been turned, as if an eye had been blinked as if some phantom force in the universe had made a move eons beyond our comprehension...

Tom Servo

As if we cared.

Suddenly, there was no trail. There was no giant, no monster, no thing called Douglas to be followed. There was nothing in the tunnel but the puzzled men of courage who suddenly found themselves alone with the shadows and darkness!

Joel

Oh, the joke's on us!

Boooooo!

Joel

Hey, w-what's wrong?

Servo

Joel, it's this movie. It was really depressing! It was like being a little kid and eating dinner at your Aunt Ruth's apartment in the summer, and it's hot in there and she's got a local christian radio station on, and there's nothing to do or look at 'cause all she's got in the apartment are Good Housekeeping magazines and linen doilies!

Yeah! And then they send you out to play with the strange neighbor kids and they're all big and their skin is pink and they have big pores and a big eighth grader makes you look at really upsetting pictures, so you go back inside and you sit down and they're all just talking with these big pauses in their conversations and you can hear the clock ticking on the wall!

Servo

Yeah! Yeah, and so you dig into your seat cushion and you find a really old peanut, and you're so bored you eat it! And then you just feel bad and a little sick, and then you think you're about to go! But-but then Aunt Ruth takes out a photo album filled with black-and-white photos of kids with squinty eyes and they're supposed to be your uncles and aunts or something, and then your parents force you to look at them!