[The title screen displays the title backwards...]
CCrow
Eht Numah Srotacilpud!
[...then "duplicates" it normally.]
CCrow
...Oh.
“The Human Duplicators” · Season 4
In this episode: Crow T. Robot (6), Tom Servo (4), Joel Robinson (2), Dr. Ralph Martin (1)
GGale
So say something!
CACrow [as Martin]
"Something!"
"Something."
CCrow
D'oh! ...Got riffback on that one.
[Super-spy Martin sees the statuesque Dr. Lin Yung standing in one of a pair of huge birdcage-like duplication cells.]
Ah! It's Malibu Barbie Torture Chambers!
Neat!
[Cut to close-up on Dr. Yung.]
CACrow [as Dr. Yung]
[in "Chinese" accent] Hi. I am new Asian Barbie.
[In the duplication chamber next to the real Dr. Yung, a skeleton slowly becomes something resembling a life-size blow-up doll.]
Huh. Well, kinda close, I suppose.
[The camera zooms in on Dr. Yung.]
CACrow [as Dr. Yung]
[in "Chinese" accent] Do I really look like that?
CCrow
Oh, come on, Doc! Did your kid make that thing?
I sing the Body Pathetic! Heh.
[Gradually, a very pale form resembling Dr. Yung materializes.]
Uh… I think you need more toner!
[The form slowly darkens to reveal an identical copy of Yung.]
CCrow
Heh heh heh. Heh! Hunan Duplicators!
Right! 'Cause they're identical Suzie Wongs?
CCrow
Yeah! Yeah. 'Cause two Wongs don't make a--
Oh, that's enough.
CCrow
Oh, don't hit me.
[Welles (played by Hugh Beaumont) answers his phone.]
WWelles
Welles here.
CACrow [as Welles/Ward Cleaver]
The boys did what? They duplicated Lumpy?
[Martin's duplicate leaves Welles' office.]
CACrow [as Welles]
There's somethin' plastic about that guy...
[Kolos, played by Richard Kiel, "beams down" from his ship with his hands outstretched.]
SAServo [as Kolos]
I'm huge.
[The Professor looks up at Kolos as Kolos advances towards him menacingly.]
SAServo [as the Professor, quickly]
Oh my God, you're huge.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.