[A mover is packing Monk's belongings up]
MMover
Was he a professor?
No, a detective. An amazing detective. He could look at a room or a person and see things that nobody else could see.
MMover
Like the Car Wash guy.
MMover
That guy in Nevada. I was just reading about him. [Stops packing up belongings and picks up a newspaper] Here, in today's paper. They call him the Car Wash Columbo. Solved a big hit-and-run case single-handedly. [Pauses] Boy, he sounds like a real character. Boss says that it takes him a whole hour to wipe down every car. He won't even use the same rag twice. [Natalie stops, realizing something]
Can I see that? [She looks at the article] There's no picture.
MMover
I guess he's modest, too.
[Reading the article] "Leland Rodriguez". [Puts down the paper, angered] His name is Leland?!
[Natalie confronts Stottlemeyer in private]
It's him, isn't it? [Stottlemeyer drops his hand in defeat, no longer able to cover the story up. Natalie breaks down, sobbing] Oh, my god. Oh my god! [Natalie's sorrow quickly turns to anger and she punches Stottlemeyer in the chest]
Why didn't you tell me?!?
Natalie...! (x4) [She calms down, but still glares hatefully at him] I am so sorry.
You're sorry?!?! But how?
Bulletproof vest. We couldn't tell anybody. [Glances at the newspaper] Leland Rodriguez, huh?
What's he doing in Nevada?!
He's supposed to be avoiding attention; staying off the radar!
Natalie, you can't tell anybody. You can't tell Randy; you can't even tell Julie!
No. I'm trying to protect him.
I'm not sure. There's something going on here. That Sheriff Rollins, he framed Monk for shooting the six fingered man. You were there! They were gonna send Monk away forever! And it's not just Rollins: Rollins is working for somebody, may-maybe somebody in the Governor's office!
It may go higher than that. I'm not sure. I'm still working on it! I just need a little more time!
I have to see him. [She starts to walk out, but Stottlemeyer grabs her arm]
Natalie, leave him alone. He's safe where he is. You have to promise me you're not going to do it. Promise me.
I promise. [Cuts to Natalie hurriedly packing a suitcase]
[Practicing his funeral song for Stottlemeyer] "Why? [strings a few chords] Tell me why... did a good man have to die? / Shot down.... in his prime... 48...49..." [Stottlemeyer, by this point annoyed at the fact that the song has 15 verses and does not appear to be ending anytime soon, cuts him off]
Randy, he's not dead! [Randy stops] We faked it. Monk jumped off the pier. [Mimics splashing] He was wearing a bulletproof vest.
Yep, he's in hiding, until we figure out what the hell's going on.
Yeah, I'm thrilled. Yeah, yeah, I just...
Th-this is the best song I ever wrote.
Well, save it. It's a great song. He's gonna die one day.
Oh, yeah. You're not gonna shoot him?
[Monk is cleaning up the car wash for the night after the other workers leave him; Natalie arrives]
[Trying to hide his face] Hola, senorita.
Mr. Monk, I know it's you. [She takes out a wipe and runs toward him]
What's with the wipe? Why do I need a wipe...?
[Hugs him and smothers his cheeks with kisses, then wipes them down] Oh, God! Why didn't you tell me?
To protect you. We thought Rollins might be watching you.
Oh, that's ridiculous! Why would Rollins...? [Rollins suddenly appears from behind Natalie]
SJSheriff John Rollins
Adrian, don't move a muscle! Show me your hands! You too, Ms. Teeger. Oh, you are knee-deep in it now, buddy.
You're the one who's in trouble! We know all about how you framed Mr. Monk and switched the gun barrels! [Monk tries to shush her] If anybody is going to prison, it is you!
[Dryly] Thanks for stopping by, Natalie.
SJSheriff John Rollins
Let me tell you about the real world, Natalie: it's never about what happened. It's always, "can you prove what happened?" [To Monk] All right, Adrian, we've done this before. On the ground, face down.
[Monk starts to lie down, then yells and kicks an oil drum at Rollins. It rolls very very slowly, before coming to a stop a few inches short of Rollins's feet]
SJSheriff John Rollins
What was that?
It was, uh... supposed to... supposed to go faster.
[He shuts off the power and then he and Natalie run]
DBDale "The Whale" Biederbeck
What did you win, Monk? Nothing! We're both back where we started.
Not exactly. The police in Dourado found something in Frank Nunn's apartment. Some old letters. He talked about killing Trudy. He mentioned the man who hired him.
DBDale "The Whale" Biederbeck
You have a name!
Not quite. Nunn called him "The Judge."
DBDale "The Whale" Biederbeck
The Judge... I can't help you, Adrian.
DBDale "The Whale" Biederbeck
A little lead... how exciting! That should keep you off the street for a while.
The important thing is, that you're off the street.
DBDale "The Whale" Biederbeck
[Laughs] Do you really think these bars can hold me?
[Taps one with his foot and it doesn't budge] Yeah. They seem pretty strong. Have a good life, Dale. [Turns and walks away]
DBDale "The Whale" Biederbeck
It's true, Adrian Monk! I'm in prison! But you're in a worse prison! You're trapped! Trapped by your own demons! You're in your own private hell! I wouldn't trade places with you for a billion dollars! I mean, another billion dollars!
[Monk turns the corner, meets Natalie, and they walk away]
DBDale "The Whale" Biederbeck
You hear me?! Come back here! I'm-not-done!
