[About Julie's new relationship] Mr. Monk, would you talk to her?
What? [Monk is standing on a chair and unscrewing the cover for an air vent]
Please! I don't know who else to ask! There's no man in her life!
[Looks around desperately] What about him? [Points at Mr. Morissey]
Kids respect landlords. I think it's the keys.
[He finishes removing the vent screws with a screwdriver and moves the cover aside to find a handgun and ammunition stashed inside]
MMr. Morissey
What is it?
It's a .22 caliber. Why didn't he bring this gun?
MMr. Morissey
So he had another gun.
But there's-there's no ammo for a .38 caliber. It's all for this gun. [He puts the gun back] I don't think he had another gun. [Natalie stands on another chair to be at the same height as Monk]
Mr. Monk, this is important to me! Julie loves you, you know that. You're like family!
Natalie, I can't, I-I just can't! Why don't you ask the Captain, or anybody else? When it comes to this particular issue, I am probably the least qualified person in North America...
That's what makes you perfect! You waited for Trudy, you were faithful, you respected her! You're a wonderful role model.
...In this particular case.
[Monk is giving Julie "the talk"]
[Loudly] We certainly have had a very productive talk. [Edges toward the door] This is the end of the talk...
Mr. Monk, wait. How do you know if what you're feeling is real?
[Whispering] What are you doing?
No, I'm serious. When you met Trudy, how did you know?
Julie, listen, this is not real. It's just for your mother. I'm not really here, you understand? [Julie starts to cry, Monk continues, still whispering] No, no, please, don't cry. I can't leave if you're crying. [Louder] What you're feeling is perfectly normal! [Whispering] What you're feeling is probably normal.
It's just... how did you know?
All right... [gives her his handkerchief and sits down] I used to wonder the same thing. And when I met Trudy, I said to myself, "now I see. Now I see why I'm here."
Yes. I loved falling in love with her. Every morning of every day, I fell in love with her again. I think what your mother has been trying to tell you is, don't worry. All your dreams will come true. But they don't have to come true this weekend, right? You can take your time. You can wait...
Just wait for Trudy. Believe in Trudy. Trudy will come.
[Stottlemeyer and Disher are viewing a blurry surveillance tape of the courthouse lobby]
Randy, they're two blurs. Even for blurs, they're blurry! Can you make it bigger?
Well it's already enhanced.
Well, that could be anybody! That could be Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers.
Ginger Rogers is not dead.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure she is dead. I'm sorry. Even if she wasn't. What would Fred and Ginger be doing in the courthouse?
I'm not saying it is Fred and Ginger, I'm just saying that y-you can't tell who or what they are!
[Disher presses play on the tape]
Look. [Uses a marker to circle two blurs passing each other on camera] Right here. See? He comes in. They shake hands. That is definitely Rob Sherman.
[Notices the marker in Randy's hand] Is that a permanent marker?
No, it will rub off. [Stottlemeyer attempts to rub the marker off the monitor, with no success]
I don't think so. [Randy also makes a bad attempt at getting the marker to come off]
Have you seen the new screens? Pretty beautiful. Flat.
You're worse than Monk. [Walks out of the room]
Okay, let's go over it again, from the top.
[Reading from his notebook] Okay. Husband, Robert Sherman, owns expensive rug. Intruder's shoes indicate he wiped his feet.
Why would a kid breaking and entering bother to wipe his feet?
Because he wasn't breaking and entering! They knew each other. It was a setup.
LRLovely Rita
[From the corner, handcuffed to a chair] Maybe the kid, the intruder, was planning on stealing the rug, and didn't want to scuff it up.
Maybe he planned on stealing the rug.
Okay, what about this? The phone in the bedroom was unplugged.
LRLovely Rita
That doesn't mean anything. I unplug my phone all the time, if I want to sleep, when I'm going to bed...
She's right. Doesn't mean anything.
Well, how about this? The wife's slippers.
Right, the husband said she went downstairs because she was cold. If she was cold, why wouldn't she put on her slippers? [Pause, then everyone turns to Rita]
LRLovely Rita
Well, she wasn't really cold. She just said she was cold. She was really going downstairs to... get a bite of that chocolate cake in the refrigerator.
What chocolate cake?! Who are you?
This is Rita DePasque, aka "The Lovely Rita." She's a material witness on a knife fight downtown.
LRLovely Rita
Alleged knife fight. Alleged. I love that word.
The Lovely Rita has a point, amazingly enough. Any hotshot lawyer could explain away that entire notebook.
That's true but if you look at the picture, the big picture, I mean, it's plain as day! He's the guy.
LRLovely Rita
Wake up! [Scoots her chair over] You've got two people, living under the same roof. One of them wants the other one dead. Believe me, I know.
He didn't love her! I was there when the M.E. wheeled out the wife. All he cared about was the rug.
LRLovely Rita
You're cute.
LRLovely Rita
You ever unbutton that top button?
There is one problem with your theory: they never met. We checked their records - their bank records, their emails, their phone records. We talked to their friends - There is no connection between Rob Sherman and Dewey Jordan.
Look, I know I've seen them someplace.
I don't know. Just somewhere. It's driving me crazy.
Well, they lived in different worlds. [Hands them one file] Here's Dewey Jordan's rapsheet - 19 arrests, 12 convictions: bad checks, drugs; a couple of burglaries. [Hands over another file] And in sharp contrast, here is Mr. Sherman's jacket - one arrest - one in his entire life: driving with a suspended license.
[Monk and Natalie are trying to return ashes to several cremation urns they have accidentally spilled]
Wait! What are you doing? [Monk is pouring some ashes from one urn into another]
Mr. Monk, those are people! Maybe they weren't the same size!
[They finish cleaning up just as Sherman and the funeral director come up]
