Modern Family · Season 2, Episode 2
“The Kiss” · Season 2, Episode 2
In this episode: Claire Dunphy (3), Alex Dunphy (2), Haley Dunphy-Marshall (2), Phil Dunphy (1), Jay Pritchett (1), Luke Dunphy (1)
Your kids don't need to know who you were before you had them. They need to know who you wish you were, and they need to try to live up to that person. They're gonna fall short, but better they fall short of the fake you than the real you.
Which is why we don't hide anything.
That is the opposite of what I just said.
I was not listening.
[to Jay] Gloria is right. You being emotionally closed off makes it very difficult for your children to show affection.
Really?
Yes.
You have trouble showing affection in public places?
Yes.
You?
[changes tone] Yes.
Was that before or after you were delivered to my door wearing nothing but your underwear and a police blanket?
[The kids walk in]
Oh my god, what?!
You were arrested?
Awesome!
Not awesome! And I wasn't arrested. Your grandfather was just telling a joke.
: It was just a joke. [whispers to Claire] I got a million of 'em.
Dad...
Where'd you go?
Nowhere. Just for a bike ride.
Oh, my God. Please tell me this text is wrong. Did you really just go over to that kid's house and try and kiss him in front of a million people?
Alex, did you do that?
You got a text?
Oh, yeah. Everybody knows. Do you know how embarrassing this is for me?!
This is all your fault! You're the one who said I had to kiss him or I was a lesbian!
Haley, did you say that to her?
Oh, don't turn this on me! Look at her shoes!
I'm never going back to school now.
No, sweetheart. Yes, you are. You are going back to school. But listen to me. Just because a boy sends you flirty texts doesn't mean you -
What?! You read my texts?!
You read her texts?! That's why you made me talk to her?!
You made her talk to me?!
I kind of feel like we're spinning out here a little bit. Look, Alex, the important thing here is that you have to be very careful how you behave around boys because it is so easy to get a reputation.
Well, I'm sorry I'm not a perfect little good girl like you were!
Were you?
Oh.
Were you?! I highly doubt it!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Modern Family pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
